Love of the Tengu
by Mephiles666
Summary: Rinnosuke has found the love of his life, but he is too aware of the legion of girls who will go mad once they learn about it. What could he do to prevent this woeful situation? In his hour of need, an overeager wind priestess and a tengu will come to his aid. My second installment to the Danmakuverse.
1. Chapter 1

This fic is part of the Danmakuverse, and takes place after Life of the Tengu. I ask you to read that first.

Disclaimer: OH YEAH, WORDS AND STUFF!

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**Chapter 1**

"So Rinnosuke; if you don't mind me being forward, what kind of woman is your type?"

Her purple hair is almost reaching her shoulders and is donned with a black, frilly hairband. Her skirt extends past her knees but does not reach as far down as the light pink petticoat which reaches far enough and with a big enough spread to hide her feet from view. Her black blouse has contrasting light pink frills at the cuffs and elbows, its front is held fast by crisscrossing laces. Under her blouse, she is wearing a light pink undershirt. A light pink shawl with blue frills on its edged rests on her shoulders, covering her neck and bust, closed by a heart shape emblem with a black bow. But while her shawl may hide her cleavage perfectly from sight, her blouse cannot hide the shape of her bust; and she is greatly endowed, at least for someone of her small height. I try my best to ignore the red, round piece of flesh positioned over her heart, connected to her body via fleshy cords running to her head and wrists, which is housing an eye of its own that is staring at me.

"U-uh, my type?"

And speaking of her assets, this woman who I don't know is rubbing her chest against my arm. I know I'm supposed to know her, from her perspective anyways, but I don't.

No, she isn't some woman that I knew before getting my head damaged to the degree of resulting in permanent memory loss. Well, maybe she is, but that's not the point. The point is that I don't know how to react to her advances!

I have no memories of how to deal with women, so I don't know how to reject her.

"Oh, Rinnosuke, you're getting flushed? That's so unlike you, it's a cute change!" She is staring at me with her purple eyes, eyes that I know but have rarely, if ever, had directed towards me.

While I am so embarrassed or bashful (whatever it is, I'm too much of it to bother recalling definitions) that I could die, my body is reacting to her flirting. My body is screaming, demanding that I pin this woman to the ground and mount her.

But I CAN'T. I can't lay a hand on her because I am not Rinnosuke Morichika; I am Sasuke Ito (that and she might kill me if she found out).

So why, you might ask, is this woman calling me by the name of the famous half human, half youkai hybrid?

**_...Hours earlier..._**

"Lieutenant Ito, I have a mission for you!"

This man standing before me is a Dai Tengu, one of the snobbish, arrogant ones if I recall correctly. Like most of his race, he follows the old Tengu religion that dictates that their kind are the rightful rulers of the entire Tengu species. And last time I checked, he likes to flaunt it.

Unfortunately; I am by law to obey any commands he gives that are not in direct conflict with orders of higher priority or orders that are in violation of our laws.

But the fact he is so serious right now means something special is up, at least something special enough to warrant making him not talk about how he should be allowed to eat only the best foods Gensokyo can produce and not be obligated to give a damn about anyone else.

"Yes sir?" I ask. If I spoke English instead of Japanese, I would spell that as C-U-R. He lifts up a picture of a man with yellow eyes, glasses and silver hair.

"Ms. Momji's older brother?" I ask, "He's lost muscle mass... and got glasses... and dyed his hair." I'm trying to amuse myself. Clearly, I am failing.

"His name is Rinnosuke Morichika. He's a hybrid between a human and an unknown youkai."

"And?"

"And he has more than a quarter of the female youkai population wanting to get into his pants!" the Dai Tengu shouts. "That's more than what the previous Alpha Hakkurou had!"

As the youkai of darkness would ask, is that so?

"This last Valentine's Day, we had a record low of men receiving chocolate from any woman!"

Tengu, as normally social creatures (supposedly even more social than humans), will talk about their problems to their friends. If he heard it by ear, that is probably how this man can presume to know such a thing.

Or he could have found out by using spy networks, in which case he's wasting our resources in policing.

Valentine's Day, a celebration of a woman's love for a man. Her sincerity is shown by giving the man she loves a snack food used combining some exotic bean with sugar. It's a holiday adopted by those native to Gensokyo as a result of several outsiders making their home here wanting to celebrate it.

White wolf men never receive chocolate on this holiday as all of us either can't stomach it or think it tastes downright disgusting. Or in my father's case, both.

I have seen my father eating something similar to the stuff, some chocolate like snack called carob that came from the outside world. I tried some and it didn't give me problems, so perhaps I should look into getting more.

"And can you guess why?" the Dai Tengu asks.

If he hadn't shown me the picture of the silver haired man earlier, I would guess that it is because the men of the Tengu are becoming less and less impressive. I've been banned from several physical and magical competitions because "people stop having fun when I'm competing." Not that I care seeing that it's my parents who make me go to those in hopes of attracting the attention of females.

If women didn't notice me when I wiped the floor with the entire list of my enemies in the vast majority of sports back then, what makes you think they'd care now?

"This asshole got them all! He's never been to Youkai Mountain and half of the population of single, eligible Tengu women are still throwing themselves at him!"

Half of the single women? Probably an exaggeration to get me hyped up for the mission. While I am intelligent not to believe it immediately without evidence, my interest in this case has been perked, if slightly. But that won't get me to resolve the situation any faster if I don't know what I'm supposed to actually be doing.

"Sir, please tell me on what you want me to do," I say. The sooner I can stop listening to his complaining, the better.

"I want you to go spy on him and find out his secret! I want you to find out why such a man exists and isn't a Tengu!"

"Why can't you ask the Crow Tengu to do that? They're the ones that excel in spying," I reason.

"Because they're sure to blab the information they find out, and I want as few men to know the secret as possible."

If he's going to go about it like that, I might as well keep what I learn a secret to myself. Since mind reading spells are illegal on Youkai Mountain, he'll never find out. So I'll be safe from him prying.

"Sir, yes sir," I say as I salute again, perfectly faking enthusiasm.

...

The trip to the hybrid's shop is uneventful as it is a short flight over the forest at the bottom of Youkai Mountain and over a portion of the Forest of Magic. I land in an open area between the boundary of the Forest of Magic and the Human Village. In it is a single building. The sign suspended off its wall says "Kourindou_," _indicating that I am at the right place. While I take in the surroundings, I walk up the steps and open the door without pause.

"Hello, welcome to Kourindou," says the man who is sitting behind a wooden desk. His appearance is uncannily similar to the photo shown to me by the Dai Tengu. Golden eyes, silver hair, wearing a pair of glasses. Even his clothes are the same black and blue style.

"Hello," I respond to the man who I presume is Mr. Morichika as I enter.

"Ah, a tengu, what do I owe this visit?"

"Nothing specific, although..." I see in the corner of my eye a small girl; she has white hair that is partly blue, red eyes, and wearing a black dress with blue trim. She also has wings on her back, small horns on her head, and what appears to be a single wing on the rear of her head. Judging from her scent, she is a youkai.

Since I don't want her to hear what I am about to say next, I walk towards the hybrid and lean towards him so that only he will hear what I whisper.

"I'm looking for a book that's hard to get, _Miracle Sanae-Chan_."

A book that has many erotic illustrations accompanying its plot. The book has been banned from some areas due to the main character's uncanny resemblance to an individual with the same name. It would make sense if Miss Kochiya herself threatened people to insure the halt to its publication.

Of course, I know this because I already have it in my possession. I managed to get my hands on it after my father burned all of my other erotic reading materials while saying that a male Tengu of my caliber should be seeking out females to mate with instead of using such materials to deal with my frustrations.

"Actually, while I don't have that book in stock, I do have one by the same author," the shop owner answers, surprising me. He points at a bookshelf against the far wall.

"Thank you," I tell him before turning and walking towards the bookshelf. Upon arrival, I see a book whose cover and title I've never seen before... but I recognize the art style.

_Magical Maid Sakuya-Chan._

I know I'm going going to be happy tonight.

Right when I pick up the book, a woman barges into the shop. Her body's shape and height is like that of a human woman in her late teens or older, and she is shapely. She is likely a youkai woman, as that is what she smells like. Her clothing is too flamboyant for any of the humans in the Human Village (aside from the 'nobility' who wouldn't be caught dead without their personal guards, and she clearly does not have any if my senses are anything to go by) and she radiates too much power to be an outsider.

Also, I am fairly certain that her gradient hair colors are not something that any human in Gensokyo has, at least not naturally.

Wait, I have seen her before... perhaps she is both that youkai woman that is heading up a temple? I believe it is that temple that teaches tolerance regardless of race.

She immediately walks over to the owner as he sits behind the desk of the shop.

"Sir, are you Rinnosuke Morichika?" she asks. Morichika is very calm and looks almost uncaring when he looks in her direction.

"Yes, yes I am," he answers.

"Please forgive me for being frank, but is it true that you're a half human, half youkai hybrid?" Although she is lacking tact, she is making up for it by getting straight to the point.

"Yes, it's actually one of the key functions to running a business that serves everyone regardless of species," the man answers.

"I am Byakuren Hijiri. Will you join my cause in making humans and youkai come to terms with each other and bring peace to Gensokyo?"

He simply stares at her for a moment, I try not to show interest in the conversation by turning to the book in my hand. I open it up several pages in make myself appear to have been reading for some time and-wait!

...

Okay, why are the characters surprised that the heroine isn't wearing pads? I should not have skipped 10 pages.

"And what has brought this about? Why are you interested in me?" he asks her in response.

"Surely, a human and youkai loving each other so much as to produce a life would be an inspiration to those who believe in the possibility of humans and youkai living in harmony with each other."

The hybrid pauses in the middle of reading. It's as if the nun hit a nerve. Slowly, he closes the book and places it on the wooden desk he is sitting at.

"... Ms. Hijiri," Morichika starts as he rubs his nose underneath his glasses, "My mother and father did not love each other."

"Eh?" her face is perplexed.

"My father... he was a human who was rejected by over 100 human women, or so I've been told. Desperate to sate his frustration, he used the extent of his skills and knowledge to capture a female youkai. Then he proceeded to rape that youkai until he was certain she was impregnated. She broke free, and turned him into her next meal. When I was born, she abandoned me to the Human Village."

He didn't go into detail about who his mother was or how he came to know the information he gave the nun. I would assume that he came across her and was informed about the details surrounding his birth. But without confirmation...

Turning my head slightly, I can see that there is no emotion in his voice, nor is there any emotion on his face. On the other hand, Ms. Hijiri is shocked.

"I-I'm so sorry," Ms. Hijiri says.

"I've gotten over it," the hybrid assures her.

"Excuse me. I-I'd like to sort through my thoughts," says the head of the Buddhist temple. She is slightly pale.

"I understand. Feel free to come by again sometime."

And with that, the Buddhist nun gives a polite bow, turns and makes her way out the door at a walking pace that is moderate in speed.

The blue youkai girl that was in here earlier is gone. She must have left while the nun and the hybrid spoke to each other.

So when Ms. Hijiri left, the shop owner and I were the only ones left_..._

_..._

While I am usually calm and calculating, I do find the lingering silence awkward.

...

I flip the page of the erotic book to make myself appear to have not noticed the conversation.

...

Purple tentacles? What?

"Mr. Tengu, is there anyone near here?" the hybrid asks me. I immediately close the book and turn towards him.

"I don't smell anyone except you in this room." Why is he asking?

"No, I mean is there anyone outside?"

Placing the book back on the shelf, I walk to the door. Sticking my nose outside, I take in a large whiff of air...

"Other than some insects and reptiles, none of which are of the youkai variety, there is quite literally no one near or inside this house except for you and me." I can smell lingering scents from the two female youkai who were just here, but they don't smell like they're close.

"Great, that means I can speak freely!" he gasps, or sighs, or both. He stands up straight then bows. "Mr. Tengu, can you help me?"

Wait, why is the man asking me for help?

"Help you?" I ask.

"Yes, yes. You look just like me, making you the only candidate for this to work."

How did I look like him? Not taking my ears into account; my face is less like that of a pretty boy's than his and my hair is a different color from his as well as shorter.

In fact, he's noticeably shorter and slenderer than me, and he also lacks my stomach fat.

"And why should I help you?" While my sense of morality would want me to help him, immediately saying yes would probably make me sound suspicious. But if there is a legitimate reason for me to help him, like helping me finding out the secret to the hybrid's charm...

"Because you'll be doing a good deed and getting desired erotic novels as payment... like the limited edition copy you just read." I look back to the shelf that has _Magical Maid Sakuya-Chan_ novel on it. My eyes are sharp enough to see two embroidered into the cover.

Limited Edition.

"You've yet to tell me how I'd be doing a good deed," I say as I turn back to him.

"Then can you hear me out for a moment?"

"I'm listening."

"Last Valentine's Day, I'm just going about my business when suddenly at least two dozen women give me chocolate. Tomorrow is White Day and I want to make myself scarce."

"Why? What happens on White Day?" I've heard of the Holiday, but I am not exactly privy on the exact details of what it is.

"Any man given chocolate by a woman on Valentine's Day is expected to give something white that is three times the value of the chocolate given to him by the that woman. It's something as a sign between two lovers, or mutual friends who just so happen to be opposite sexes. But I have two major problems; first, I don't have that kind of money!"

Yeah, I often hear that his shop doesn't make much money. Granted, most shops do not produce enough money so that a man can blow it on gifts for twenty women.

Perhaps I should be happy that I never receive anything on Valentine's Day?

"This leads me to my second problem. Every woman has either been a youkai fully capable of killing me or a human... also fully capable of killing me. If I give only one of them a White Day present, they will start to kill each other, or me. But I actually have a woman who I want to give a White Day present to."

I cannot tell him to just fight them off or to waste time reasoning with them. Anyone charged with emotion will not be able to be reasoned with and this man cannot be trained to be strong enough in a short amount of time as several hours.

"But you're a Tengu, you can handle anything Gensokyo can throw at you!"

Possible, but highly unlikely.

"I have a woman that I want to court, but I don't want anyone else to know about it. And so, please listen to my selfish request. Pose as me for a week, I will pay you for it."

"As much as I would like to be of help, I don't see how this will work."

"I'm certain no one will figure it out!"

"Even if you were able to make sure that no one would notice the subtle differences in our appearance, someone's gonna notice the difference between our voices."

"What difference? We sound exactly alike," he insisted.

"Actually, Mr. Morichika, you sound like Lanipator on a good day when he's voicing for parodies on illustrated stories about celestial monkeys. Mr. Ito, on the other hand, sounds like a cheap imitation of Steve Blum when he's voicing self aware machinery capable of transforming into a flying cannon."

The third person to speak is a human female. Her body shape and height are like that of the Buddhist nun's, albeit her bust size is noticeably larger. She is wearing a blue and white outfit similar to a shrine maiden's, except blue instead of red and covered in light blue polka dots and stripes. She has long light green hair, and yellow eyes. She also is wearing a snake-shaped hair accessory wrapped around her hair on one side, and a hair clip shaped like a frog's head. The skirt reaches to her knees, and she wears maroon-colored boots.

She is Sanae Kochiya; a young human woman who recently moved in from the outside world. She is not only a priestess and a Miko but since people didn't believe in religion but instead believed in her, she apparently was transformed into a Living Goddess due to their faith.

Even if I never read the book _Miracle Sanae-Chan_, I would recognize her as I personally met her before.

She is the only human openly allowed on Youkai Mountain as her shrine is there, housing two other deities.

There is one thing that I am surprised about, though... she managed to enter the building without Rinnosuke or I noticing.

"Who are they?" I ask about the two she spoke about. They're probably famous people from the outside world, but...

Before Miss Kochiya can respond to me, Rinnosuke turns pale and dives under the table. "Oh gods, they're already here!" he screams.

"Mr. Morichika, I'm just here to check your wares. You're not my type, so you don't have to worry about me ruining your love life."

"R-really?" Rinnosuke asks as he peeks out from under the table.

"More importantly, you need someone to distract the hyenas, right? I'll use my divine power and all the women will think that Mr. Ito is you for days! Plenty of time needed to romance your loved one, is it not?"

What's a hyena?

"Wait, why would you help me?" Rinnosuke asks, wary of her.

"As a representative of the Moriya Shrine, I would not kill your faith in us by ruining your hopes and dreams."

Indeed, now that Rinnosuke knows that she knows about him having a girl that he is actually interested in, he can inductively deduce that problems may arise from her knowing. Even if she wants Rinnosuke for herself, the best she can do is milk the situation for all it's worth without getting between Rinnosuke and the girl of his dreams and hope that Rinnosuke picks her on his own free will.

"That and I already have someone I love, so I shouldn't be chasing after you."

Oh yes, Shrine Maidens apparently can sleep with someone if it is within the moral guidelines of their deity... or so I've heard. While the whole "remaining a virgin to remain an effective shrine maiden" thing helps with many deities, there is a possibility that it is mostly a quality used to appeal to the public. But I cannot deny that it simplifies things. I would try to determine who the Wind Priestess is dating, but such is a waste of time and brain power.

Now that I am thinking about mating, while several women will come here wanting to romance Mr. Morichika, I can assume some may try the more... direct approach. I should ask Rinnosuke his thoughts.

"Please pardon me, Miss Kochiya, but I must ask Mr. Morichika some questions of crass nature." It is courtesy to others to bring that up before addressing the problem.

Kochiya nods in understanding but doesn't leave, indicating that I am to continue with her present. The hybrid does not protest, and I ask him my question.

"What if a woman, thinking I am you, tries to seduce me?"

"I don't want any of this coming back and biting me in the derriere, and I don't want any of my stuff traded off for anything that isn't tradeable or lesser value."

Summary: so long as nothing bad happens to you, you don't care what I do.

...

"This is a bad idea," I voice my opinion.

"I need this done for a week starting today, and I am already throwing my best at the problem. You've agreed that you can help, not to mention that Miss Kochiya is helping, so you could try to hope for the best," he tells me.

According to my former self's journals, I apparently had virtually zero self-confidence and courage when I wasn't being an arrogant screw up. And given my most recent memories...

"Confidence is not something I am familiar with," I inform him.

"Alright, Mr. Ito," Kochiya says while lifting her gohei, "Time to make you shorter, slenderer and more attractive."

She takes a couple of steps towards me, closing the distance between us. She raises her modern style gohei and places a hand on me. This physical contact is awkward as my body is starting to react to an attractive female touching me.

Please Miss Kochiya, don't look down.

After a few seconds, she retracts her hand from my shoulder, crosses her arms and tilts her head to the side.

"Hmmm... first we need to make you look thinner. That's the most definite give away." She turns to the hybrid before speaking again. "Mr. Morichika, do you have a pair of clothes that can be altered to make people look skinnier and shorter?"

The man pushes his glasses further onto his nose, as if he adjusted them for the sake of adjusting them, and smirks.

"No, but with my sowing skills, I can make one that can also fit a man as tall as him in only an hour," he says proudly.

"Make it happen, please."

"I'll be in the back," he says.

"Alright!" Miss Kochiya says while turning back to me, "Next is making you shorter... try to slouch!"

Slouch? I relax my back muscles and let my upper body fall onto my lower body.

"Good, good. Now next is... that hair. It's healthy and clean, but it's not nearly as shiny as Rinnosuke's. Hmmm..." She motions for me to come to her, I take several steps forward. She puts her hand on the back of my head and-

"GURGUGLGUGLE!" I pull my head up out of whatever it was that it was just submerged in. As water drains from my face, my eyes can make out a sink. Where did that come from?

"What was that!?" I demand with my head sopping wet.

"Time to make your hair shiny! This will make your hair have the same appearance that Mr. Morichika's hair has." she sings as she reveals a bottle that says... shampoo?

She squirts some onto her hand and runs it through my hair, kneading the liquid substance into my scalp. With her other hand, she pulls my head above the sink.

"Stay above the sink, please. We don't want to spill anything."

I would protest and tell her I can do it myself, but since she has already sullied her hands and I have yet with mine, I opt not to waste time and water and to take this moment in an attempt to meditate.

Yes, I can mediate while my head is being washed. It's far from perfect, but-

...

The priestess seems to have forgotten that her top is white. With her washing my head, the water couldn't be cold enough.

...

After a few minutes of scrubbing, she dunks my head into the water filled sink. This is to get what feels like soap out of my hair.

After letting the water drain from my hair, a cloth I recall being known as a towel partially wraps around my head as the priestess presses against my wet surfaces in order to soak up the excess liquids. Soon after, she pulls the towel away.

"Alright, done," she informs me. "The hair growth formula in the shampoo shouldn't be a hindrance to a youkai."

"Was washing my hair necessary? I could have done it myself," I inform her.

"O-oh? Uh, sorry," she apologizes. However, her gaze seems to indicate that something on my face is wrong.

"What is it?" I ask.

"We need to do something about the bags under your eyes. If you can't look like Rinnosuke perfectly, the very least we can do is make whatever error instead compliment your appearance. I mean, it's as much of a no-brainer as being asked if you want to be 30% prettier or 30% uglier." Not if you don't want to risk being raped, but I understand her meaning. She turns toward the hybrid before asking him another question. "Mr. Rinnosuke, do you have any potatoes? I need something to remove the bags under his eyes."

"How much will you need?" he asks in response.

"Just a thin slice."

"I knew I kept that good luck charm for a reason," he says as he leaves the room. What, did he do make a deal with the white rabbit of Inaba?

...

It isn't long before I am holding half of a slice of potato under each of my eyes.

"Alright Mr. Ito, keep these under your eyes for 20 minutes," Miss Kochiya says as she pulls out her gohei. "In the meanwhile, I'll create a blessing for keeping the illusion."

"Wait, you're creating a miracle even when you went to the length to utilize so many items?"

"Even with your hair grown out longer and made shinier, and even if you became shorter and slenderer, and even with you face made to look more youthful like Rinnosuke's, you still don't look that much like him. That said, you'd have difficulty pretending to be him in front of anyone who may notice the differences, especially since your eyes aren't even the same color. Those are more of safety nets in case the miracle fails."

Deductively valid. And she may even realize that it would logically make the miracle more effective since it now has less to convince people of.

"Now if you'll excuse me..." She moves to a clear spot on the floor, raises her gohei and starts dancing. It is a ceremonial sort that I had seen her perform before, but I don't remember any specifics.

Yes, Miss Kochiya may be a priestess, but she is also a goddess. She'll succeed.

...

The more she dances, the more energy I can detect gathering around her. Her enthralling dance lasts for the majority of the time I need to keep the potato pieces on my face. And it ends with a flourish that artistic folk would refer to as glorious.

"Done!" she says, turning to me with a smile.

I look into the mirror the hybrid had on the wall, but I do not see Sasuke Ito. I see Rinnosuke Morichika. His hair is a little shorter than normal, but... otherwise, I can't see a difference between my current appearance and the man who I met today.

"Woah, I did such a good job that I can't tell the two of you apart!" the priestess boasts, fists on her hips, puffing up her chest and smiling as if she was victorious.

"What are you talking about? He looks nothing like me," the hybrid protests. Maybe he should change his glasses?

...

"Here's a list of items you need to make sure that you don't sell," Rinnosuke says as he hands me long piece of paper.

After taking a look at the list and a look at the store, I can see that the list of things not to sell contains more than half of the items in the store. What was the point of calling this a store?

He then leans close to me and whispers in my ear as if he still doesn't trust Miss Kochiya.

"I'll be in the Human Village in case there is an emergency." Drawing away from me, he looks to us before turning and making his way to the door. "Well, you both have my thanks," he says as he goes out the door, "I'm off to make the most of this day."

"If you're successful, be sure to hold the wedding at the youkai and human friendly Moriya Shrine!" Miss Kochiya calls out.

"I will," Rinnosuke yells back.

"Well," the priestess turns to me, "I will be leaving as well. I have... things to do." She turns and exits out the door.

"Oh yes," she stops and turns back to face me, "Remember, once the miracle's power ends, the first things people may recognize are your eyes being the wrong color, your shoulders being broader, your ears being fluffier and your face not being as pretty. Excuses I suggest using are eye color changing contact lenses from the outside world, and that you've been working out and your youkai blood becoming stronger."

Wait, that doesn't answer what I should do to explain the change in my face.

"And my face?" I ask. She shrugs her shoulders in response. "...Nevermind, I'll think of something." She nods, waves, turns and leaves.

And that said, I am alone in the building. For the price of an erotic illustrated novel, I am helping a man find true love and a woman spread her religion around Gensokyo.

But I don't mind it as it will give me opportunities to discover the secrets behind Rinnosuke's gift at getting women.

Having work that is relaxing is necessary, as the constant stress will be hurtful to my health. Not as much as it can be to animals, but...

Oh yes, when I get a moment of alone time, I will need to vent my frustrations which have been have been needlessly built up in last couple hours. No thanks to that common sense lacking, sexually attractive, wind priestess.

The bell hanging above the door rings, indicating to me that someone has entered the shop.

"Hey Kourin!" the first girl to arrive since my job began speaks as she enters the shop.

"Welcome to Kourindou!" I greet her with a smile.

* * *

**From the Author:**

Achariyth1 and Captain Vulcan proof read this. Achariyth1 also helped me with the story a lot. Go read their works!

ZUN owns Touhou. I own Sasuke Ito. Danmakuverse is owned by Wolfsbane706, go read his stuff too.

Now you totally know who is going to be first, but I'm wondering who I should have appear after that. Hmmmm...


	2. Chapter 2

The part of Sanae Kochiya is played by Monica Rial.

Rinnosuke: Dude, you're a chapter late to do that joke!

* * *

**Chapter 2  
**

"Hey Kourin!" says the first girl to walk into the store.

Her blond hair and matching eyes, her pointed mushroom-like hat, and her black and white maid-like attire is a good indication as to her identity.

Marisa Kirisame; human magician who specializes in light and heat magic, as well as mushrooms and potions, owner of the Kirisame magic shop (not to confused with the Kirisame-ya second-hand shop from the human village), and one of the most powerful humans in Gensokyo. The fact she can achieve speeds faster than some Crow Tengu while maintaining maneuverability is a clear indication of that.

"Welcome to Kourindou," I reply.

"Eh? Why you being so energetic today, Kourin? You ate something high in vitamins?"

"As a matter of fact, I did." I don't know about the real Morichika, but I did make sure my lunch was stacked with the ideal amounts of necessary quantities to ensure peak health for my body.

The fact she's openly acting like this and referring to me by a name that is neither the shopkeeper's first nor his last name implicates that she is close to him, or at least sees herself as close to him. Kourin is either his middle name or a nickname. That said, I should try acting less formal with Ms. Kirisame. "Anyways, Marisa, what brings you here?" I ask.

"Oh, nothing much. Just decided to browse," she says with her hands behind her back. If I recall correctly, she is also a thief. I need to keep an eye on her.

My brain makes a complete mental check of what the inside of the shop is supposed to look like.

I register two differences: One is that the _101 recipes for mushrooms_ on the third shelf on the bookshelf on the far left closest to the door is no longer there as Marisa is slipping it into her apron. The second difference is that there is a box full of chocolate, or containing something that smells like chocolate, on the chair right inside the door.

"Please stop shoplifting, Marisa," I say. "I may not look it, but I am trying to run a business here, not a charity."

The look on her face is that of shock, as if she never expected Morichika to ever have issues with it. Likely that or he has simply never caught her before.

"S-stingy!" she quickly says, as if trying to make me feel guilty.

"If you want something, you're going to have to buy it," I say simply, not taking my eyes off her for even a moment.

Right there, she lifts the side of her dress enough that I can see that she isn't wearing bloomers, the common undergarment human women her age. This would indicate that she is either wearing something else or not wearing-... I should not dwell on that.

"Can I pay with my body?" she asks with a smile.

I do not look away from her. If my face is changing, I probably have a look of confusion, disgust, or something similar because under no circumstances would I willingly use a child for such a thing (I don't think she's even legal by human standards). Not to mention that I find the young girl's approach to the situation appalling, and this is even when ignoring my personal moral beliefs.

"What? No," I answer. Marisa's smile quickly fades into...

"What? Is it because I'm flat-chested!?" she shouts. And now I need to diffuse the situation.

"I'm not going to ask where that came from." This sentence helps establish that to her that her bust size has no or a minor factor into my answer. "But if I said no, would that make you any less upset?"

She pauses. Judging from her now face, she is probably deep in thought.

"I didn't mean to upset you, but you don't have any yen or barter?" I ask.

"Well, if you want barter, I have these chocolates." Oh yes, the box she left on the chair.

"You wish to barter with chocolate?" I suppose Morichika wouldn't mind, so long as the gain is equal to or greater than the loss. That said, I can always cool the chocolate for him.

"How much do you think this is worth?" She asks as she transports the chocolates from the chair to the desk I am sitting at. I feel inclined to cheat her of the whole thing, but my conscious tells me that I should be better than that.

"Fine," I sigh. I do a mental calculation based on my understanding of chocolate quality and quantity cost.

"Two books from that shelf, including the _101 recipes for mushrooms_ you have." That was the closest thing to a fair trade I could make and make sure that I was not making a poor business transaction for Rinnosuke. Of course, my lack of knowledge about chocolate means that I could very well be robbing Marisa... or she robbing me.

"Thanks Kourin," she smiles brightly. "You don't mind me reading them here, do you?"

"No, I don't," I answer. Although, I probably will need to keep an eye on her.

The next few minutes are... uneventful. Since I am in the presence of a woman, I dare not take out my _Magical Maid Sakuya-Chan_ novel as this will upset her. And so I read another book... while flexing my muscles.

Just because I need to train my mind doesn't mean I can't train my body.

I periodically look from my book to make sure Marisa isn't doing anything other than actually reading here.

Such peaceful times are truly blessed.

...

"Why aren't you eating them?" Marisa asks.

"Hm?" I look up from my book to see Marisa with a look of concern.

"Why aren't you eating the chocolate I gave you?" she clarifies.

"I'm saving it for later."

"You don't have a means to preserve them! They'll go bad!"

Wait, Morichika doesn't have a method of refrigeration?

No, a mistake! I forgot to take into consideration the technological retardation of everyone off Youkai Mountain! Of course Morichika isn't going to have an effective refrigeration system, let alone have one he can spare on snacks!

"Oh yeah," I calmly say. Does Marisa actually expect me to eat this? Me eating chocolate? I know I'm not like my father when consuming that infernal snack food, but...

To be honest, like my father, I suffer from both problems Male White Wolves suffer from when eating Chocolate. My issues, however, are inverted and ultimately less by comparison. While my father likes some types of chocolate, hates the rest and goes into spasms while puking regardless of what chocolate he eats, I hate the taste of all chocolate and the stomach problems are varying degrees of inconvenience.

"Yeah, so eat it before it goes bad!" Marisa practically shouts.

"Fine," I say. While I'm emotionless on the outside, I am fearing the outcome of what is about to happen. And the taste... I normally cannot stand the taste.

I do not delay plucking the chocolates up from the box one by one, chewing them and swallowing them.

I try not to focus on the foul taste and attempt to consume them as quickly as possible. If the stomach problems I have later don't make me want to throw up, this will.

It doesn't take long before all of the chocolate is gone. Morichika will be upset.

Wait, NO! Posing as Rinnosuke, I should be taking into account that I'm being targeted by a multitude of women! I shouldn't have let my guard down! Marisa Kirisame is known for making potions on occasion, she probably put something in the chocolate! Chocolate, what can someone put in chocolate that is relevant to stealing the affections of someone else?

Think Sasuke, THINK! Oh yes, it was a conversation I overheard a year or so ago, back when I was researching a way to repair my magic control nodes faster.

_..._

_"Hey!" _called out one researcher. He or she had thick glasses if I recall correctly.

_"What is it?" _a second asked.

_"I've been commissioned to make a Love Potion, mind testing my product?"_

_"You're not going to stop until I've said yes, aren't you."_

_"Nope!"_

_"How does it work?" _the test subject asked while being handed the vial.

_"It's supposed to make you fall in love with the first person you see after ingestion."_

_"...It tastes sweet and spicy at the same time."_

_"Look at me, am I making you feel anything?"_

_"I feel a need to grapple you... and tickle you... going off subject, do you like flowers?" _This caused awkwardness for everyone who watched.

_"Okay, I think it works, it should wear off after several hours, but this should make it go away faster."_

_"Please do, the idea of becoming excited by you is disturbing."_

...

I AM posing as Rinnosuke Morichika who IS the target of affection for many women. And now that I think about it, the chocolate was slightly spicy. That said, Kirisame probably mixed a love potion into the chocolate. The moment I lay eyes on someone, I'll fall in love with them.

I will not-no, I must not look at Marisa when the potion starts circulating through my system.

Although she's staring at me with worrying seriousness, I tear my eyes off her.

"Is something wrong?" I ask, going back to my book.

"Kourin, did something happen?"

"What makes you ask?"

"You greeted me happily when I came in, you noticed when I tried taking a book, you even stopped paying attention to objects you touch."

Morichika has poor business sense, something I have failed to portray. He has a poor awareness of his surroundings, something I have due to training. He has the ability to see the name and purpose of the objects he touches, something I failed to take into consideration.

As a result, the hybrid is acting suspicious to this girl's eyes. I need to come up with a decent reason.

"I've had a long night," I answer. That was true, given that the Moriya Shrine Maiden was unintentionally making me excited but not actually allowing me a means to deal with my excitement, not to mention that I had to be groomed like one of those stuck up males who focus more on their appearances than their ability to be physically or magically competent.

"Really? How many times have we done it?"

Wait, what did Marisa ask me?

"Done what?" I ask.

"It." She is refusing to answer me directly.

"What is it?"

"You're more of an adult than me, you should know what it is." Is she blushing?

"Jog my memory." I think I have an idea of what she's talking about, but I need to be certain before I make an accurate assessment of the situation.

"Sex!" she shouts.

She is truly trying to figure out whether or not I'm the hybrid! She's also not going into detail about what she wants me to answer because she doesn't want me to figure out the answer and then lie to her. The best way to get through this would be to think of the best possible outcome based on the idea that all answers are wrong.

"I don't remember that ever happening," I answer. "Did we do it and I got drunk or bonked on the head?"

This is my answer. Even if the two of them did mate, taking into consideration someone may have no memory of the event means there is nothing they can do about it. But even then, my enemy is an emotional creature. If they did mate, the fact the male forgot risks anger from the female, even if it does solidify the male's identity. Now how will Miss Kirisame react?

"Nevermind, you are the Kourin I know," she says with a sigh of relief.

"I certainly hope so, I'm not sure I want to be the Kourin you don't know," I try saying with a hint of sarcasm. An attempt at snark on my part, but it's probably a useless action.

"Kourin?"

"Yes?"

"What do you think of how I did my hair?"

"Hmmm... it looks fine," I say without actually looking at her.

"You're not looking!" she says, sounding angry.

"I already saw it and committed it to memory. It looks beautiful," I answer. I hear her get up from the chair, and the clicks of her shoes against the wooden floor indicate that she is walking in the direction of the desk where I am seated.

"What's so interesting about that book?" she demands.

"It engages my mind." Actually, any time soon I will regain my ability to use magic. When that happens, I will be able to return to my studies and research as a magic user.

"May I borrow it?" The shadows! Marisa is about to put her hand into my view! If she does that, I'll fall in love with her!

I turn away.

"If you want to read it that badly, wait until I'm done."

"Ow!" she screams, "My leg!"

I hear her stumble, but I do not hear muscle, skin or bone breaking. This would indicate that she is trying to make me look at her out of concern.

"It's not that bad of an injury, stay off of it and it will get better," I tell her. I hear Marisa growling. I take this as an indication that my suspicion of her lacing the chocolate with a love potion is accurate.

"It's hot in here, I'm going to strip," she declares.

"Please don't," I ask.

"What? Will it make you uncomfortable?"

"Given Gensokyo's society's demand that intelligent creatures should have some clothing oriented decency, if someone came here seeing you in your underwear, there would be some bad misunderstandings."

In reaction to this, Marisa becomes hysterical and leaps at me, as I knew from the sounds and the movement of shadows. I immediately close my eyes and put up my arms to block her.

"Damn it, Kourin! You have a young lady, ready and waiting for you! Why don't you take advantage of this situation!?" she demands as she wrestles me.

"Get off me!" I command her.

"At least open your eyes!"

"Excuse me?" And now my suspicions has been clarified that the love potion, or whatever was in the chocolate, will have a trigger effect the moment I do open my eyes. If I fight her physically, she may very well exterminate me or be killed accidently. I can't use spellcards on her as I have forgotten to take into account what Rinnosuke's spellcards are.

I ultimately have no real way of defending myself, aside from this while flailing that has landed me on the floor with Marisa on my back. Her fingers are peeling open my eyes! Someone help me!

As if my prayers are being answered, the door to Kourindou swings open to reveal the same gradient hair colored youkai woman who appeared several hours ago, all in her ethereal existence! I know it's her as I am looking right at her right now!

Suddenly, everyone freezes.

Marisa has stopped prying at my face, I can only imagine her expression. Ms. Hijiri has a face of shock and confusion.

There is a long pause.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt!" the nun says while bowing.

"You weren't interrupting anything!" I immediately beam up off the ground. Marisa's weight sliding down and off my back indicating her falling even before the loud thump and pained yelp can come.

"Kourin!" I hear Marisa shout.

"Take notice that I was pushing the young lady off, and that my clothing is untouched," I say, trying to dissuade the woman from believing that we were actually about to start anything. I can assume that Marisa is partially naked as I can see her blouse on the floor in front of me.

"Eh? Uh, huh?" the youkai woman was still trying to mentally sort out the situation.

"You see, the young lady is half naked due to the heat. She was on top of me due to a series of tripping," I inform her.

"Isn't that some kind of novel cliche?" Byakuren asks.

"Unfortunately, this cliche just happened." I am not going to shame Marisa, even if she was deliberately trying to make me fall in love with her and force me into a compromising position.

Oddly, I feel exceptional need to make the nun believe me. This is odd because I am not at risk of losing anything... although now that I look at her, her body structure is anatomically ideal for ensuring effective procreation. Her large bust size, wide hips, even the fact her hair is naturally shiny indicates just how healthy of an individual she is.

"Anyways, I suspect that there is a reason why you're here." I have got to remain professional about this. "What can I do for you?"

"Oh yes, I wanted to make a formal apology." She says with her beautiful voice. She gently closes her eyes and gives a graceful bow, her beautiful hair falling down.

"Like I said before, I've gotten over it." I say, repeating what Morichika told her hours earlier. "And besides, even if I wasn't..."

I don't know when I closed the distance, but I am standing in front of her. She is slowly raising her head.

How dare this woman put herself so low?! Her graceful movements, her clean and shiny gradient hair, her perfectly shaped hips, waist and bust. Perfect cheek bones, smooth skin, sparkling eyes, a wonderful scent. This woman is the pinnacle of perfection! Yet she is standing here and putting herself below me!

I will not have it! She must know how of how great her existence is!

"There is no way I could be angry at something as beautiful as you," I declare.

"Eh?" she looks me in the eyes with her beautiful orbs. Why is she confused? I merely stated fact.

"Huh!?" Marisa is behind me, also extruding the same confusion. Can she too not see how glorious of an existence is standing in front of me? The existence that is Byakuren Hijiri?

"S-so does that mean you'll consider joining my cause?" Byakuren Hijiri asks me. Yes, yes, she does not need to ask me for it. For this beautiful being...

"Oh, anything for you," I say as I place her hands in mine and bring my face to hers.

"Uh, sir, I-uh, you're too close!" she stutters.

Oh no! What am I doing!? I should not let myself taint this perfect existence! What if I desecrated her!?

"Forgive me, what was I thinking?" I ask as I let go of her. "I should not be letting my emotions get a hold of me like that."

"K-k-k-kk-k-Kourin!" Marisa stutters out.

Wait, I'm almost always composed. I need to pursue this feeling, for I may never feel it again. For never in my life have I been attracted to a woman! For this woman, I can do anything! I will do anything!

To not pursue the peak of femininity that she is would be... illogical!

"But Ms. Hijiri, the fact that my emotions are this uncontrollable... this must be a sign that I should indulge in this if at all possible. Ms. Hijiri, will you do me the honor of dating me?"

The woman of unsurpassed and unparallelled beauty stares at me in surprise.

"W-what?" she asks.

"HUH!?" Marisa comments. I continue to opt to ignore her. But the holy nun requires an explanation of me.

"I would ask you to marry me," I explain. "But we barely know each other, so I am trying to restrain myself. Would you allow me a chance to prove myself an acceptable suitor for you?"

"MASTER SPARK!"

I feel a burning hot, concussive force hit me hard from behind.

And everything turned black.

* * *

**From the Author:**

I dunno about you, but I don't see how that was love colored. *rimshot*

I owe thanks to:

Wolfsbane706 for helping me flush out the story story, Captain Vulcan for giving me feedback on the development, and Kaiser dude for correcting grammar and spelling errors (Go read their stuff, it's awesome).


	3. Chapter 3

Sanae: Alright, time to make you pretty!

Disclaimer: No, no! I don't need this, NO!

* * *

I feel that my back and upper body are on something soft, and warm.

…

Yes, my pillow. I'm going to turn my head towards the softness and warmth then snuggle in it.

In fact, I think I'll embrace it.

…

When was my pillow half the size of my body? And why does it smell like a woman has been sleeping in my bed?

I open my eyes to see that I am holding onto is not a pillow but a woman.

Why is there a woman in my bed?

No wait, my lower body is on hard wood. I'm not in bed. And am I snuggling her stomach?

I quickly sit up to take in my surroundings.

Okay... explosions and sparkles off in the distance, it looks to be like a Spell Card duel mixed with actual brawling. The contenders are Marisa Kirisame and Byakuren Hijiri.

But that is not as important as where I am. Looking around, I can see that I am on a bench in front of Kourindou. I look down to the woman who I had been lying my head on.

Her purple hair almost reaches her shoulders and has a black, frilly hairband. Her skirt extends past her knees, her light pink petticoat which reaches farther. Her black blouse has light pink frills at the cuffs and elbows, its front is held fast by crisscrossing laces. Under her blouse, she wears a light pink undershirt. A light pink shawl with blue frills on its edges rests on her shoulders, closed by a heart shape emblem with a black bow. Also, there is a red, round piece of flesh positioned over her heart, connected to her body via fleshy cords running to her head and wrists, and is housing an eye of its own that is staring at me.

"Good morning Mr. Morichika," she speaks to me.

Oh yes, because of Morichika's request, I'm supposed to be posing as him for a week. I need to make sure that no one finds out that I am actually not Morichika. However, given the situation at hand, I need to know what happened while I was unconscious.

"Miss, if you don't mind me asking, what happened while I was unconscious?" I ask her. Somehow, the woman looks to be pitying me. She adverts her eyes from mine.

"Well... I was approaching the Human Village for the purpose of meeting someone there. I decided to take the detour to this opening in the Forest which bordered on the humans' territory as it may have something interesting." She turned her face to point at the duo in the distance.

"When I approached, I could see you and the older woman flying out due to being blasted out by a large beam of light and force." She takes a breath before continuing.

"You took the center of the blast. The woman was already in the process of dodging so she received minimal injury. I then saw Miss Kirisame emerge from the hole made in the entrance of the shop. There was shouting, concerning you... I was able to figure out that the black/white, out of envy, struck you while trying to attack the youkai woman."

"Envious of what?" I ask.

"She was upset because you were flirting with the Buddhist Nun."

Her story makes sense. Although the idea of me making passes to the Nun somehow seems like a needless action, even if she is attractive, I have a hazy memory of holding the Nun and desiring her in ways I've never felt before.

"Given my understanding of the situation," the purple haired woman continues, "You were a single man who was looking for love in a woman. Another woman whom you weren't interested in lashed out at you when it was unjustified given that you did her no wrong, and so I immediately scolded her. And even then, it's disproportionate retribution. It's not like you're a stamina freak who knows how to deflect spells."

I do know how to deflect spells, but it requires casting a spell which requires extra concentration on top of being highly unreliable and unpredictable. That aside, I can't cast magic as I am still recovering from severe magical burnout. However, I am infamous for having more stamina than everyone I know.

But why would she pick such specific yet precise descriptors?

"And she lashed out at you?" I ask.

"Oh no, not yet. You see... she did become upset, but she..."

The purple haired woman did a mock voice of Miss Kirisame.

"She said, 'Where do you get off, bitch, telling me what's right and wrong?! You think you're better than everyone just because you can stand on the tips of your toes like a Yama-damned ballerina!?'"

Looking at the young lady's feet, I can see that she is wearing slippers constructed with standing on one's toe tips in mind. Probably not intended for long walks in the dirt, though.

"She then immediately tried walking on the tips of her feet, trying to show me up... and fell onto Ms. Hijiri. I snickered, she lashed out at me and started a fight; chaos ensued. But it was for naught; the nun and I gained up on her, seeing as we had a common enemy in her. When I became confident that the human was weakened enough for the Buddhist to defeat on her own, I faked my own defeat and slipped from the battle and brought you to the porch. Then you woke up."

I do not see any conflicts between her story and reality.

"MASTER SPARK!" Miss Kirisame screams in the distance. Looking, I can see her firing a giant rainbow laser at Ms. Hijiri.

"Devil's Recitation!" Ms. Hijiri declares, firing several red lasers at Miss Kirisame.

The two attacks pass through by another, hitting their respective targets dead on and resulting in a brilliant explosion.

_"KNOCK OUT!"_

Wait, who just spoke? That was not a woman's voice, nor was it a man's. And it also did not come in the direction of... well... anywhere. It was just there.

"Looks like I was half right," the new youkai woman says. Did she not hear the voice that shouted just now? I guess not. Anyways, I suppose the proper thing to do is to put the two someplace to rest seeing that they've both fainted from the fight.

"Please wait, miss," I ask her as I stand up from the porch. Walking towards the two unconscious bodies, I can see that they have many simple scratches and light burn marks and roughed up clothing, much like what you'd expect two animal spawn to have from rough housing.

The youkai woman is light as I lift her with one arm, light enough that I know I can lift and carry the human girl in addition to her without worry. Slinging Ms. Hijiri onto my shoulder, I turn and walk towards the black-white. I notice that her hat can easily fall off, so I put it on Ms. Hijiri before picking up Marisa in my free arm.

As anticipated, I feel no strain from holding them. Of course, the mental checks were needless given that I know for a fact that I can lift and carry at least twenty times this weight.

My trek back to Kourindou is short and uneventful until the youkai girl I left sitting on the porch speaks to me.

"Wow, you're so strong!" This makes me strong? Carrying two normal sized people, one in each arm, is considered strong? I'm pretty sure Rumia was capable of carrying off a full-grown bovine once. I've won arm wrestling matches against beast youkai who are notorious for being stronger than normal youkai and normal youkai are stronger than Rumia, last I heard. The only way this single action could make me strong is if I was a human, but the fact is I'm a youkai-

Oh yeah, I'm pretending to be a half human, half youkai hybrid. And I don't know how strong they are physically. Perhaps I should have carried the two of them back one at a time?

If the average human can carry 40 kilograms, and the average youkai can lift 2845 kilograms, then logically a standard bodied hybrid should be able to carry over 1000 kilograms. But then again, genetics don't work like math. That said, I may have blown my cover as being someone that is not a hybrid.

Worrying about this will be a waste of my brain power. I should put the futons out for these two, take care of their wounds and fix the front of the building.

"I don't know where any medical items may be, but if you can get them to me, I can deal with their injuries," the conscious youkai tells me.

"Alright, thank you." Although, given the nature of Spell Card Duels, even if Kirisame received injury from the fight, she shouldn't be in any danger of permanent damage. Ms. Hijiri should have the problem even less. I should not be so liberal with other people's stuff. "On second thought, never mind."

"If you say so."

Laying the two out on futons is a simple task, allowing me to change my attentions to my customer.

"Alright, my apologies for being late, but-" I raise out my arms as if I were to hug someone, I close my eyes, and I give the brightest smile I can muster, "Welcome to Kourindou!"

"Thank you," she says with a polite bow.

"What can I get for you?"

"Hmmm, I want someone to talk to," she answers. I nod, I'm willing to listen to her troubles if that's what she means. She walks towards me and suddenly loops her arm around mine.

... Wait, what?

"So Rinnosuke; if you don't mind me being forward, what kind of woman is your type?" she asks me.

Is she flirting with me?

"U-uh, my type?" I ask.

I don't know who Mr. Morichika's type of woman is. And while I have an idea of what my ideal woman looks like, I haven't had a romantic relationship since before I lost my memories, so I don't know what type of woman I like.

But that is hardly the issue here, as she is pressing her chest against me. She does not have the breasts that Ms. Hijiri has, but that's partially due to her smaller stature. This girl is clearly well endowed for her size. Her shawl may hide her cleavage perfectly from sight, but her blouse cannot hide the shape of her bust, or the feeling as it presses against my arm.

"Oh, Rinnosuke, you're getting flushed? That's so unlike you; it's a cute change!" she exclaims. She is staring at me with her purple eyes, eyes that I know but have rarely, if ever, had directed towards me. Against her actions, I cannot help my face heat up, or my blood flowing...

No, no, _NO_! After Miss Kochiya unintentionally exciting me, and the illustrations from the novel _Magical Maid Sakuya Chan_, I have not been given a chance to deal with my pent up stress.

What can I do?

Breed with her.

Wait, where did that come from? My body is telling me to respond to her? I feel like I should grab her and pin her to the ground, ensuring that she cannot get away while I remove my personal physical problems.

"By the way, guardsman... I can read minds," she says.

Wait... did she just call me guardsman?

"Yes I did," she answers.

She's actually-

"Reading my mind," she says, finishing my sentence. "I'm Satori Komeiji and I can read hearts, former Assault Team member Sasuke Ito."

The frustration I was suffering from had been overshadowed by surprise as I processed how deep in manure I was.

* * *

**From the Author:**

Thank you, Wolfsbane706, Captain Vulcan, and Kaiser Dude for proof reading this.

I was supposed to say something, something along the lines of accepting flame comments if they make sense... I dunno... I need to stop getting high on sugar.


	4. Chapter 4

Rinnosuke: Why is it so hot in here?

Sanae: Because someone keeps flaming this fic!

Rinnosuke: Why would someone flame a fic?

Sanae: Because they don't like it!

Rinnosuke: But if they don't like it... why are they still reading it?

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Claim: The youkai woman in front of me is a mind reader.

Fact: She knows that I am Sasuke Ito and not Rinnosuke Morichika.

Fact: She knows I am a guardsman.

Fact: She knows that I was a former member of the assault team, something which I heard no one speak of aside from the Tengu doctor and the Tenma herself. I remember their purpose being for taking offensive initiative against threats to the Tenma.

"Don't forget that I know you kept making yourself bleed when researching the _Turn Spell_. Or how your _Anti-magic field_ would eat up kilograms of iron at a time. Or that you were still unhappy about your Oni killing _Black Lightning_ even when it was a perfect success, that made me wonder if you were capable of being happy."

I did not know that about myself.

"Oh wait, you don't have any memories prior to the... Vampire Incident was it called?"

Not only does this woman possibly know about my past self, but this woman is reading my mind like an open book. She knows all my secrets!

"You're a Tengu, your brain operates too fast and has a too large of a capacity for me to want to know everything even if you have memory loss," she smiles. "But I already know what I need to know, so it isn't a problem."

Oh no! I promised Mr. Morichika that I wouldn't let anyone find out that he is no longer here, or his location which Ms. Komeiji may have already picked from my brain.

I've screwed up!

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone anything. I want him for myself after all."

That doesn't help me. No, I cannot allow this!

"What will you do? You don't want to blow your cover in a true fight, as everyone knows how much of a weakling Morichika is... but on the other hand, you wouldn't stand a chance against me in a Spell Card duel, anyway."

She's right. If she is such an efficient mind reader, she'd see through all of my Spell Cards. Not to mention that I'd wake up the others here if I tried overcoming her in a normal fight.

I'm trapped! But since it's a lose/lose situation, I can still aim for making it as costly for her as possible.

Satori bursts out laughing.

"I'm kidding!" she chokes out. "Even if I wasn't taking into consideration that hybrids have short lifespans, I can do better."

Wait, she doesn't want Rinnosuke?

"No, I don't."

So I can trust her?

"Yes and no," she says as she calms down. "I'd tell you why yes, but since you can't remember what happened, you wouldn't be able to trust my word for it. Sad you lost your magic though, we could have spoken to each other telepathically like back then."

I don't know any telepathic communication spells. In fact, I'm surprised I've adjusted to this one way verbal conversation this quickly.

"I'm referring to our mutual capabilities in mind reading," she clarifies.

That would explain it, if two people were reading each others' minds, they could communicate so effectively that-Wait! Even if she could read minds, how does she know about my spell for detecting surface thoughts? Did she pick that out of my brain too?

"And that is why I am cross that you've forgotten your childhood friend. You were bragging that it was a spell that most Tengu didn't have the endurance for and yet you still managed to make it on your own, even at your age."

She knows that I lost my memories of everything since before the Vampire Incident. Well, except for some things. She clearly knows that I can't cast magic for at least another year. If she really is someone who knew me before then she would know that the 'Sasuke Ito' who existed prior to the Vampire Incident is dead, probably killed by the Scarlet Devil herself.

"You have your body, soul, knowledge and skills; yet you consider the you before then to be separate from the you now?"

Whether he and I are two separate persons in spite of having the same soul, body, knowledge and skills is not the issue here. The issue is that he said nothing about ANY of his friends. He noted an Oar Fish and a fairy... but he never left behind anything about his actual friends. As a result, I know nothing about who he was as a person aside from his desire to become the most powerful youkai in existence.

At the core of the old me's existence was a desire that would always remain; the man I once was would desire increasing his own personal power beyond what Tengu are capable of. But I never wrote about my core self, why I desired to become the most powerful youkai in existence instead of being simply content with being who I was.

"Well, it is nice to see that you're still the Sasuke who is fine with people reading his mind."

I don't like it.

"But you don't hate me for it," she said, smiling as the tip of her finger touched her chin.

I tolerate it because hating you for it would be a waste of time and energy which could be put to more productive things.

"And that's what I loved about you," she chuckles to herself. I do not know how to react to that statement.

Regardless, it's a rare opportunity. If someone can innately read my mind perfectly and I learn how to combat it, then if someone who is an inferior mind reader becomes my enemy, then I'll stand a better chance against them.

"Some things never change."

Never change, that's it!

Something clicks in my brain. Utilizing a false memory spell cast upon me, I know many things which my old self knew; mathematics, physics, machine work, magic, qi control, exercises, swordsmanship, psychology, history, as well as details on Tengu society. Through this, I am remember a rumor.

A woman who can innately read minds? The Satori species is capable of doing that. If my "memory" serves right, there was a rumor about a Satori who successfully befriended a Tengu before her species, along with many other kinds of youkai, were sent to the Underground. The reason she was remembered was because unlike other Satori, she was the paragon of her species in mental capability.

And for that reason, she was named after her species!

"Stop thinking so fast!" she demands.

"You're Satori Komeiji!" I say.

"In the flesh, my old friend," she giggled.

So I'm the Tengu she, befriended? We were childhood friends?

"We hung out together a lot, seldom would others tolerate me, and you simply wanted to train yourself physically and magically without having to worry about your fellow Tengu, whom you deemed inferior due to their idiocy and lack of ambition, or so I recall. I think it was the fact that we were both ambitious that made us work so well together..."

To think, I had such a history. All those memories...

"This is getting annoying," she says as she places her hand on my head. "I'm going to repair your mind."

Wait, you can do that?

"That's..." she pauses, "no, not on you it seems."

Why not?

"If you simply had a damaged memory, there would be bits and pieces I could take and put back together. But the part of your mind where the memory would be... it's gone... completely, replaced with a blank, perfectly clean slate."

I recall the doctor mentioning that.

"It seems that it is impossible to get your memories back by repair seeing as there's nothing to repair to begin with. My apologies."

Actually, I'm thankful she attempted to.

"I can still help you remember, if it's only stuff that happened from my perspective."

That should be fine.

"Are you certain? With my power to read hearts and my power to control souls, I can easily fabricate lies."

I don't know if her sadistic smile is a sign that she can't be trusted period, or that she's getting off on teasing me. But I'm confident in my ability to resist the rare mind control ability that some Satori posses. Everything else should fall into place.

"Perhaps I should reward you for trusting me?"

Finding out what I truly lost should be reward enough.

"Alright," she sings as she raises her hand back up to my face, gently letting the tips of her fingers settle on my forehead.

...

_"HAH! HAH!"_

_I, having nowhere I needed to be, decided to sit on the fallen tree to read._

_"RAGH!"_

_Aside from the Tengu boy and the periodic animal, there was nothing in this forest. The Tengu boy? Perhaps he was taller than average for his age and a little chubby._

_"Hm?" he thought as his eyes drifted to me, "That's a Satori girl. What's she doing here? Whatever, back to practicing."_

_When I got a clear view of his face, I could see he wasn't handsome by any known definition. And with his mind focused on perfecting his body, mind and soul. His thoughts were boring; he was just a random male with boring thoughts._

_But boring thoughts were okay as it meant that I could relax here without fear. And if his appearance was what mattered to me, I wouldn't even be here. The Oni, in spite of their code of honor on not telling lies, hated my species for being able to read minds. The other youkai didn't have anything to be stopped by when it came to discriminating against the Satori for the same reasons. Unlike them, the boy accepted my existence as fact and moved on with his training._

_"I've input too much magic force into the somatic of that spell. The result was the spell exploding in my face."_

_The first of the various types of power he employed were that which magicians, humans, and beasts used. He was using it to formulate the equivalency of raw darkness and spread it into standard magic as a means of augmenting it._

_Such I learned from overhearing his thoughts._

_"Done with magic for today," he thought. He then switched to a different power, one which I recall being innate to his species. "Time to see if I can lift more than a rock today using the power of the wind."_

_I became alert when I felt the breeze in the area pick up. Looking up from my book, I could see him making a transparent force swirl around on the ground, making rocks lift from the ground._

_Eventually, he'd run out of steam, causing the wind to die down. After that happened, he'd take a breather and repeat the process. He kept doing it until he was unable to even make the wind blow anymore._

_"More, I need to train more," he thought. "What have I not done... physical workouts."_

_Once the wind had died down, I resumed reading._

_"1... 2... 3..."_

_It wasn't as great as being alone, but I could read here without fear of prejudice. This boy went through several training routines in favor of paying any sort of negative attention to me. He had no interest in doing anything to me._

_"127... 128... 129... 130... 131... 132... 133... 134..."_

_As for what the boy was doing... The tree was uprooted and being pushed up before it was allowed to descend. A tree of its size and species was heavy enough that I would be easily crushed by the weight. But the boy lifting it was a White Wolf Tengu, not to mention he actually trained himself physically to be superior to his peers, although I didn't know how much of either factored into him being able to lift such weight._

_It wasn't until he switched arms at 150 repetitions when I noticed that he was also writing stuff in a book while doing this. I would have returned back to my book had I not felt the odd change of magic flowing around him. This piqued my curiosity; what could be so important that someone would write about it and be altering their magic flow while lifting trees? With this in mind, I stood up and approached him._

_"What are you doing?" I asked. _He didn't bother answering verbally, knowing that I, as a Satori, could read his thoughts.

_"Work out... inventing... new spell," he thought._

_"What kind of spell?" I asked._

_"Neutralizes arcane power."_

_"Like the stuff the monks use?"_

_"No; life force, innate, and divine are unaffected."_

_"Ah... why would you use such a spell?"_

_"So I can use non-magic abilities and fight non-religious shamans."_

_"What have you learned so far?"_

_"First version, I have to sacrifice a kilogram of iron, it lasts an instant and consumes my whole magic reserve."_

_"So... you can only use it when you haven't performed any magic, and it eats up your magic entirely, making it impossible to use afterwards," I said, running what I knew by him. "On top of this, its extremely wasteful of resources, and it only works for a second. And you've been wasting how much time researching it?"_

_"For there to be success, I have to start somewhere."_

_"In the meanwhile, you're running the risk of depleting the mountain's iron supply. __Are you sure you can succeed? Can magic like that exist?"_

_"A human has already developed a version which uses only a speck of iron and lasts for longer."_

_"Really? Aren't Tengu supposed to be have superior magical abilities and intelligence than humans? For a single human to outperform the entire Tengu species in a feat of both..."_

_The boy grumbled as he continued to work._

…

The memory ends there. The next memory begins.

…

_The boy was here again, though this time he was accompanied by another Tengu boy. This one was much taller and broader, held his head high and had a long nose. A High-nose Tengu who could be mistaken for a Dai Tengu._

_"Hey Sasuke, are you okay?" he asked. The addressed Tengu boy who I recognized was bleeding, and his arm was mangled._

_"What did I do wrong?" the White wolf thought, "The deflection spell shouldn't be this unstable."_

_He was trying to invent a spell that could deflect spells. Simply said, spell was hard to utilize. When he miscast it, it blow several holes in his arm, not to mention his friend's spell struck him._

_The problem was that it was less dangerous for a human to mess up the spell this badly as they would simply receive minor pain. Being a youkai, it was clear that the boy was playing with fire when he was more flammable than the people he was trying to copy._

_"I think we should stop," the High-nose suggested._

_"Fine," the smaller one agreed. He then turned and saw me. "Oh, you're that Satori girl."_

_"A Satori? Here!?" the larger boy asked, beginning to freak out. I was fully expecting bullying to occur at this time, but then the White wolf spoke._

_"You're overreacting," Sasuke said in annoyance as he walked towards a fallen tree, "She's harmless."_

_"But she can read our minds! Why are you so calm!?"_

_"Because there's no point to wasting energy on hypocrisy," the wolf said as he sat down on the tree. The boy started thinking about a spell he formulated when he was younger, a spell that could allow him to read minds._

_"You also read minds?" I asked._

_"Sasuke reads minds!?" the larger boy asked._

_"I haven't done it in years," Sasuke answered, "It's a forbidden spell by Mountain law."_

_"How did you learn it?"_

_"By using my understanding of magic to try to invent new spells that I couldn't be taught by teachers, books or scrolls."_

_"Can you teach me it?"_

_"No, I'd get in trouble."_

_"Can you show me?" I asked._

_"A Satori shouldn't be impressed by it given how weak it is," the boy thought to himself, "But there's no harm if no one trusts a Satori to tattle on someone."_

_The white wolf Tengu thought back to the necessary steps in casting the spell. He immediately started making hand movements while speaking an incantation._

_After a few seconds, he stopped._

_Somehow, that looked incredibly lame._

_"It's not supposed to look cool, it's supposed to let you read minds," the wolf boy mentally retorted to my thoughts._

_So you can read minds._

_"Not as well as an innate mind reader," he thinks._

_That much is clear, but this will have its own benefits._

_"How so?"_

_Conversations that no one can overhear but us._

_"Makes sense."_

_My name is Satori Komeiji._

_"A Satori named Satori?"_

_Another Satori had the ability to perceive the future. He saw me becoming the smartest and most powerful of our species, as well as becoming their ruler._

_"Sort of like that Surudoi boy."_

_That's why my parents decided upon naming my after my race._

_"My name is Sasuke Ito."_

_That name doesn't fit you very well._

_"My family is made of string makers, and my mother picked my name because it sounded cool to her."_

_I take that back; only your first name doesn't fit you very well._

_"So..." the larger Tengu boy started, "Can he really read minds? All you've two have done was stand there, staring at each other."_

…

The memory ends there. The next memory begins.

…

_It is dark, but I see a landscape in front of me. The abundance of flora would make you feel filled with life if it wasn't such a cold, dreary place. A dark, terrible place that we should never have visited, far from our home of Youkai Mountain._

_Why are we here again? Oh yes; a bunch of like-minded Tengu, Satori, Oni and Kappa decided to come here as a show of independence. They were making the transitions into adults, but they were all still a bunch of rebellious children. And to prove the extent of their ability to defy authority, they ventured off Youkai Mountain._

_"Sasuke, you're alive?" I frantically asked, seeing the antisocial boy as he slide behind a tree._

_"Yeah, and your sister?" He questioned in response, clenching his scimitar, a weapon I have often seen him train with._

_"She's alive," I confirmed. My younger sister was hiding me, shivering in absolute fear. In the dark forests of the land beyond the ocean, the creatures there normally did not seem to pose a threat to us._

_Then we came across that thing._

_"Splitting up was a terrible idea!" another individual in our group nearly shouted. When we first came across the monster, we quickly found that it was hostile, violent, and strong. One of the more unintelligent plans to deal with it was to split up the group._

_The group that I wasn't part of was completely and effortlessly wiped out by it._

_We didn't know what it was, but we knew this much: it was absolutely terrifying and it was overwhelmingly powerful._

_"Sister, I'm scared!" I felt my sister clench my arm tighter. I turn to reassure her as my emotionally fragile sister would prove to be a hindrance if she broke down at such a critical moment._

_"We'll be-" I was interrupted when a cold wave washed over me, chilling me to the bone. I was never given the chance to finish the thought when the stone nearby crumbled, revealing the-xfiigsrtlx_

_pxcnjfahijbesumcdvmj_

…

Static? In a memory?

…

_"Head count, who's left?"_

_"Satori, Koishi, Sasuke, you and me."_

_Five survivors. Out of all of the children who ran away from home, less than half of them remained._

_"Waaaaaaaaaaaah!" my sister teared up as I held her in my arms. Koishi was terrified, almost as terrified as Sasuke. The only reason the wolf didn't finally snap like she did was because he was steeling himself._

_"I don't know what that red haired woman can do," Sasuke said, "But she told us to flee. I suggest we comply while that thing is preoccupied with her."_

_"Y-yes, lets," I nod. With Koishi in this state, any amount of distance between us and that abomination counted._

_The five of us would make the trip back home, but Youkai Mountain could never be reached fast enough._

...

The memory ends there. The next memory begins.

...

_The location is one that I have become familiar with._

_The location is... Youkai Mountain._

_It became a known safe spot for any Satori, so long as they didn't do anything to annoy the Tengu boy who used it to train, practice and study._

_That was, until the plans for the Great Barrier became known._

_"Hello Satori," Sasuke said as I entered the area. He was in the middle of training._

_"Which spell is it you're trying to perfect now? The Anti-magic field or the Turn Spell?"_

_"Neither, without a partner to use magic, I can't test either of them."_

_"I see... well, it's good of you to be diligent."_

_"I have to be. Regardless of my enemy, I need to make sure that I am never powerless again."_

_"Is this due to... the monster we encountered back when we left the mountain?"_

_"That was the wake-up call, but I've always hated being powerless."_

_"I hate being powerless as well."_

_"Hm?"_

_"The Hakurei Barrier is going to be put up soon. With that, everyone in this country will be cut off from the rest of the world."_

_"There's a catch, isn't there?"_

_"There are too many youkai, so the youkai who are most hated, and the youkai who believe most in the 'might makes right' philosophy are being sent to Hell."_

_"Hell? Where the sinners who die go?"_

_"We won't be there to be tortured in the burning fires, but... we'll still be prisoners."_

_"Then overthrow them."_

_"Huh?"_

_"Life sucks? Make it better."_

_"I can't promise that I will."_

_"Promise that you'll try," he said as he held his hand out to me, "And I'll promise that I'll try to become the most powerful youkai you've ever seen."_

_I didn't need to think it over._

_We shook hands on that promise._

_..._

_Actually, this may have been goodbye forever. I embraced him as I would family. He did not know how to react aside from reciprocating._

_"Thank you, Sasuke," I say._

_"You're welcome?" he says. However, the sentimental moment is interupted by his thoughts._

_"Huh," he thought, "This is the first time I've realized how much smaller she is than me."_

_"Ugh." I didn't like being commented on my small stature. "I don't like it."_

_"Don't be so upset," he thought as we broke the hug, "There are some advantages to being small. Like being able to do gymnastics and ballet easier."_

_"You just want to see a woman in provocative clothing, don't you?"_

_"Only now that you've mentioned it."_

_"I'm not much for physical activity, but... perhaps I should take up dancing with Koishi should Hell provide such an opportunity?"_

_"Your sister dances?" Sasuke asked. I looked to my left and saw my sister who was sleeping like a baby on a tree._

_"More than you can comprehend," I answered with a smile. Just then, my sister fell from the large plant, making a squeaking sound when she impacted the ground._

_"Waaaaaaaah!" came from my sister. I stifled my laughter as Sasuke ran to her aid. Such times would be considered tearful goodbyes. But no, that wasn't the case here. Sasuke would fight to achieve the status of most powerful youkai. I would also fight to free myself from this system of cruelty._

_"Koishi! Don't fall asleep in my arms!" Sasuke demanded._

…

The memory ends.

I blink. The store shelves, light of the setting Sun outside, Satori sitting in front of me... I am back in Kourindou.

"Hmmm, I shouldn't have shown you any of that," she says. Her face doesn't look like she's-Wait, what was the creature that was killing off the others in our group?

"You didn't see the part with it?"

I didn't. Everything became... weird, and I couldn't see it.

"Interesting, it must have been so... ridiculous that the idea of perceiving it is impossible unless you witnessed the events first hand."

Something beyond comprehension? What did your mind translate it as?

"I... don't remember."

Satori Komeiji, a woman of the satori species, known to have many of the rare innate abilities related to the third eye, each of which that only a minority of satori have. This girl I seem to have known before the creation of the Hakurei Barrier and have been her friend.

We begin talking about recent events, like those leading up to why she is allowed back to the surface. The incident on Youkai Mountain and the introduction to the new Shinto faction, and the Geyser Incident. We talk for awhile.

She looks at the Sun dial set up outside through the window.

"Well look at the time," she says while standing up, "I still have to meet my friend over in the Human Village, so I need to hurry. And you have two women who either need to give or be given a scolding, not to mention you have pent up anger against womankind you need to release."

I'm not going to say anything about that. You did contribute to that problem.

"Oh, really?" she asks as she walks to the door, "Should I make up for that?"

What do you mean?

"Never mind!" she giggles, "I'll take my leave."

"It was a good experience meeting you, Satori Komeiji."

"Oh, don't be so sure," she says, stopping at the door. "With my power to control souls, you're still running the risk that I may have completely fabricated everything I told you."

She says this while looking back at me in the corner of her eye with the most sinister smile I have ever seen in my life.

"Or perhaps I did something worse."

Her maniacal laughter echoed in the air as she left in the direction of the Human Village.

...

When Satori is no longer be smellable outside of her trail, I turn back to the futons.

Huh, looking at their peaceful forms, they do have their own charm, even Marisa whom I do not find sexually attractive.

"Shiiiiii," came from Ms. Hijiri, "Shi-Shinki, stop putting-" she is interrupted by her own yawn, "-shaved strawberries in my-" she yawns again before opening her eyes. She is facing me. "You may have white hair and a cute face, but you're not Shinki."

"If I recall correctly," I say as I walk towards the hat rack, "the goddess of the demon species is female. I should like to hope that I am not."

The reason I am looking through the hats? Rinnosuke doesn't have white hair, meaning that the illusion has been dispelled on the nun.

That said, I need to hide my hair and possibly my ears. And this should do the job.

I believe it's called a gibus hat, a hat from the outside world with springs inside. This specific one is damaged, dusty, and black with the top nearly detached.

I remember this hat being on the list of hats he isn't selling. This will cover my head, as well as my ears if I put it on right, and shade my eyes partially, making it harder for someone to see that they're not yellow. Upon putting it on, I feel compelled to say "You get a closed casket at the ugly cemetery," for some reason. But I say nothing.

It wasn't long after the nun woke up before the human magician too got out of bed. But when I approached her...

"Rinnosuke, you idiot!" I earn a slap across the cheek from the hormonal, human adolescent. Before I can speak, she turns and runs out the door.

This leaves me and Ms. Hijiri alone in the shop.

"It's for the best, I can explain my side of the circumstances since we're the only ones here." I turn to Ms. Hijiri. "Ignoring my status as a hybrid between human and youkai, what are your personal thoughts about me? Before I started acting... under the influence?"

"I did not meet you until this morning, so I have no valid opinions of you."

"I see, this unbiased thought set makes explaining everything much easier."

"Hm?" She tilts her head slightly.

"In my time, I've became equated with the existence of "Love potions." By ingesting it, you would fall in love with whoever you laid eyes on. When I realized that some food I ate could have had such a concoction in it, I deliberately averted my gaze from everyone."

Her eyes widened at the implications. I can assume that I do not need to say it outright.

"That's not to say you aren't attractive. Because you are."

"Thank you," she says as she gives a gentle smile.

"Anyways, about your offer... I'd like to give you a full answer, but I can't do that today."

"Oh, I understand. Strict life decisions can be hard for anyone to make, even the most powerful of demons." What is this woman? Is she some kind of saint? Okay, that's a stupid question.

"Anyways, if that is all, I should not keep you."

"Thank you for giving it thought," she says while giving a polite bow.

And with that, the Buddhist Nun and head of the Myouren Temple left. My first day on the job was over.

* * *

**From the Author:**

I finally finished Day 1 of this fic. Now the question is how should Sasuke remedy the problem with the miracle going down.

Thank you Achariyth1 and Kaiser Dude for proofreading, thank you Captain Vulcan for helping me brainstorm, and thank you Wolfsbane706 for helping me do both.


	5. Chapter 5

Sanae: So you don't wear those glasses to correct your eyesight?

Rinnosuke: Why of course, Sanae! My terrible powers are locked away thanks to these spectacles!

Sanae: Really?

Rinnosuke: NO! Why would you believe that these were anything BUT corrective lenses!?

Sanae: *Thinks back to chapter 1* Uh... *averts eyes* No reason.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

My name is Sasuke Ito. I am a White Wolf Tengu, a robust and good nosed subspecies of Tengu which is a species of deified wind youkai native to the country of Gensokyo.

My paying job is working as a guardsman on Youkai Mountain, where the entirety of my subspecies and the vast majority of my species lives.

I spend much of my time conditioning myself. This includes physical strength, speed, stamina, endurance, dexterity as well as improving the strength, precision, and endurance of my wind capabilities.

I used to also practice magic and research spells. However, due to a condition of mine that is going to last at least another month, I have redistributed that time into life force conditioning and working with machinery.

Additional mental conditioning comes whenever one of my colleagues challenges me to Dai Shogi. I always lose because the only people who challenge me are the best Dai Shogi players in the country.

I train myself in actual swordsmanship and kick boxing when I get the chance, usually while doing life force training.

...

What am I forgetting? I mean besides my entire life minus the last decade.

In addition to all of this, as a member of the Ito family, I am an outlet for my family's business in selling thread. That is actually what brought me into the situation I am in today.

Two days ago, I was ordered by one of the less respectable men of the Dai Tengu, the ruling subspecies of Tengu, to seek out the reason why a certain male, a hybrid between human and youkai, was indisputably the most sought after man in all of Gensokyo by females.

Upon arrival of the target's home, the hybrid in question asked me to pose as him lest the women vying for his affection discover that he had a legitimate loved one and move to do his hopes and dreams of a happy love life harm. Thanks to a certain Wind Priestess, my appearance was altered to fit the man perfectly. I accepted the job in return for an illegal novel which I have yet to read due to circumstances.

I am on the second day of this job.

...

**Hours earlier.**

Alright, looking in the mirror, I can see that my hair has returned to being its natural white and is no longer silver like Mr. Morichika's. This is a clear indication that Sanae's miracle which allowed me to fool Marisa Kirisame and Byakuren Hijiri has worn off.

That means that today, I will have to wear the gibus from yesterday.

But first, I need to see if I have anything to brush up on my failing disguise.

Specific clothing tailored to hide my tail and make me look thinner, check. Me slouching my back to make myself look shorter, check. Me relaxing my shoulders to make myself look slenderer, check.

This does not change the fact my face looks nothing like the man I am impersonating.

I can hide my hair and ears thanks to the tall, dusty, brimmed hat. But my eyes are still different from Rinnosuke's, even when they're behind the spare set of glasses he left me.

Wait, glasses, that's it! Maybe he has a pair of sunglasses lying around. Sunglasses are an Outside World product design to shield people's eyes from bright lights but still allow them to see.

Thing is, many people make different types of sunglasses in the outside world, or so I recall Ms. Kochiya commenting offhand in a conversation. That said, even if there isn't anything called "sunglasses" on the list Rinnosuke gave me, there still may be sunglasses in the shop.

...

After an hour of looking, my search for sunglasses has come up with no results. Although I am now in possession of an odd glasses shaped object that is made entirely of bone. Where the glass you look through would be is more bone, however there are slits on both sides thus making the object a decent replacement for sunglasses.

I put them on in place of where the glasses I was using would be. And not a second too late as my ears pick up the sound of a bell, indicating that someone is entering the building through the main door.

Light skin, hazel eyes, blond hair reaching her shoulders while her head, and fairly tall for a female with a human shape. Her dress is blue with white puff shoulders and shawl, both embroidered with black borders. The shall is kept together at the neck with a red ribbon, much like the ribbon tied at the waste. The dress is sleeveless at the arms, probably to allow maximum movement.

Her name I believe is Alice Margatroid, the Seven-Colored Puppeteer, a 100% self made youkai magician.

"Hello, welcome to Kourindou, what can I help you with?" I ask her.

"Hey Mr. Morichika," she responds. The friendly manner of her speech indicates that she knows the hybrid. She pauses for a moment, staring at me and asks "Is that a new fashion?"

"I am seeing if it's as interesting as people in the outside world make it out to be," I answer. She shoots me a stare indicating that she finds it weird before resuming.

"I came here looking for string. I was going to buy some in the Human Village, but since this place was on the way, I figured it would make more sense coming here in case there is some."

... String?

True to our name, Ito indicated the line of work our family specialized in. But I specifically am the worst thread maker in my family. That is why I have been given some of thread from my father and told to sell it. This is not an opportunity I am going to pass up.

"Well Miss Margatroid, you're in luck. I have just so happened to come across some of the best string in the world!" Okay, so I'm fantasizing. My father, by White Wolf terms, is below average in capability. That is why I am hoping that he is the best thread maker in the world.

It's always comforting to know those who sired you left you something of value in their bloodline, even if it's something you'll never use. I haven't actually seen better thread than what is made by him but...

I pull a spool of my family's trademark string out of my satchel and present it to the young lady.

"This is a high quality string made by the Ito family, designed to last longer and hold stronger than your average twine. But there's more, try examining this thread and telling me what you detect."

I hold the spool out to her. She raises her hand over it, essence glowing in her palms. She is probably using a form of detection.

"Divine power and magic?" she asks, her facial features indicating that she is mildly surprised.

"That's right, by being made by the hands of such powerful youkai as the Tengu, you know that these threads will be infused with their vitality, making them perfect for magical purposes!"

Yes, I am bragging; we Tengu are an arrogant species. When we're the most populous race of truly powerful youkai, it's hard not to be. But I am not saying that we are the most powerful, and my words are backed by facts.

"How much?"

"For a pretty thing like you..." I give her the price per foot.

"Hmmm, that is expensive," she comments, "Even if it's a bargain price for enchanted string of this quality."

Yeah, I should have expected that. But my father would be cross with me if I sold his masterwork for anything cheaper.

"Wait, I don't have any money, but I have barter." Alice reaches into the purse she is carrying and pulls out a small jet black crystal, smaller than than a mouse pellet.

"What... is that?" I ask. I have never seen such a black crystal in my life. Even if that alone wasn't odd enough, it was giving off a shadow substance.

"Sense it," Alice told me.

Sense it? I try focusing on my senses...

My heart is beating.

The shadow substance's scent flowed through my nostrils, treating me to a rare smell. The smell has no description for it in any human language, and it does not have a means of translation from youkai.

But any youkai who smells this, knows this smell. A smell animals could never hope to comprehend no matter how intelligent they are. The essence of life, that which brings us from the darkness, and to which we drag our prey into that darkness.

I need not lick the crystal to know the taste. That taste that I can only call delicious.

Human Fear.

The crystal was somehow one hundred percent cold, true fear in physical form.

The woman was offering me the life blood of all youkai... in tangible form!

I feel like shouting "Shut up and take my thread!" if that would get my hands on the crystal sooner. This, this, this, this! I must have this! This amount of fear in one place, I must have it! I must-

The door rings, signalling that someone is walking.

"Hello Miss Margatroid, Mr. Morichika," speaks the familiar voice of a woman. Even if I did not know her by scent; the red third eye connected to her, her small and shapely stature, and her purple eyes and hair easily give away her identity. She is Satori Komeiji, a mind reading youkai who had visited me yesterday.

But today, she's wearing different attire. A pink, sleeveless leotard and a matching skirt that looks to be made entirely of frills. The skirt only reaches half way down her thighs due to sticking out to the sides more than downwards, thus revealing her bare legs.

"It's called a bodice, for your information," she says to me as if I should know.

Actually, Satori's entrance has snapped me out of my stupor. While I do intend on obtaining the crystal, I can do so without making a poor business transaction or attacking the magician.

"Anyways," I say as I turn back to the puppeteer, "I'll give you my entire stock of this thread for this whole stone. Is that a fair trade?"

"Uh, sure," the magician nodded. We exchange our respective items without complication or foul, a normal business transaction. My father? I can pay him the money value out of my salary from my job as a Guardsman.

"By the way, Mr. Morichika," Miss Margatroid asks in a quiet voice, "Why is Ms. Komeiji wearing a tutu?"

"Don't know," I answer back truthfully.

I don't know why she's dressed like that. Nor do I dare question why Satori is dancing in the shop, but I look away as she bends over while facing away from me.

* * *

**From the Author:**

Thank you Wolfsbane706 and Demon Neko Shen for proof reading.

Please Review if you have the time and an idea of what to criticize, flame or praise me on. Simple comments and questions are happily accepted too.


	6. Chapter 6

Sanae: Something's bothering me.

Rinnosuke: Yeah?

Sanae: The author of this fic was complaining about flames, but now he's asking for them.

Rinnosuke: Yeah?

Sanae: He even took off everyone on his block list just so they had a chance to flame him.

Rinnosuke: Yeah?

Sanae: Is he a troll, starved for attention or a masochist.

Rinnosuke: Yeah?

Sanae: You're not even listening, are you?

Rinnosuke: Yeah?

Sanae: That's what I thought.

Rinnosuke: Yeah?

Sanae: ...

Rinnosuke: Yeah?

Sanae: ...

Rinnosuke: ...

Sanae: Are you do-

Rinnosuke: Yeah?

* * *

**Chapter 6**

What is surprising is that the black stone and its shadow stuff are not giving off any actual feeling aside from what we youkai know as human fear. There is no magical, qi, divine, youkai or even psychic power in it. Just a wad of pure, unadulterated fear.

Unfortunately, I cannot determine how human fear is being produced without a human to make it. But if it's a scientifically explainable function, this could remove the youkai's dependency on beings such as animals.

For the time being, I'll place it in a container for safe keeping, where no other youkai will sense it.

The door's bell rings, indicating someone entering the room.

"Welcome to Kourindou," I say, spinning to face whoever it is that is entering.

"Hi Mr. Shop owner!" shouts the high pitched voice of one who is an adolescent, whether in terms of actual age or personal power.

Her aqua colored eyes and hair coupled with her icicle wings were a dead give away as to her identity as an Ice fairy, a nigh-immortal embodiment of nature. She's probably Cirno, the Ice Fairy of the Lake. She is wearing a light pink blouse, white socks, and a blue ribbon with a matching jumper dress. Height, short compared to the average female, can be mistaken by some as a three hundred year old child.

"Hello Cirno," I greet with a friendly smile. "What can I get you?"

"Uh," she pauses and looks up, supporting her chin on her balled fist. There is a pause before she removes her hand from under her head, places both of her fists on her hips and says proudly "I don't remember."

Is that typical fairy intelligence?

"Well, go ahead and browse," I tell her. She nods in understanding before she starts walking around the store. It doesn't take long before she finds something in the apparels section.

"Hey, Mr. Shopkeeper!" she calls out.

"Yes?"

"I want these!" She lifts up two white boots. Each one has a blade attached to them. I do not take long in grabbing the list of items the hybrid had left me, and with it I look up the item.

"Figure skates: used to propel the wearer across flat sheets of ice," the list states. "Price is..."

I inform Cirno of the price.

"What?!" she asks in surprise.

"What, is that too expensive?" I ask. She pauses for a moment.

"I don't know," she answers. The palm of my hand finds its way to my face.

"Well, you'll need to pay that amount if you want to buy it."

She nods and starts searching herself. Her dress doesn't seem to have any pockets, and she isn't wearing a purse either. That said... did she come here without money?

"I... I..." She seems to be at a loss of words.

"I can't give it to you without something in return."

"I..." She looks down as if averting her eyes from mine, which is not a difficult task considering she's very short.

"If you don't have money on you, you can just use something else," I tell her.

"But I'm not carrying anything," she replies, looking at me with sad eyes.

I'm unfazed. The girl actually does have something she can barter with, she just doesn't know it. The ice she creates via her power over cold can be used to make this Summer heat less agonizing.

"Fine, how about if you work for them?" I ask her.

"Work? Work in this shop?" She looks frightened by the concept. I do not blame her.

"No," I assure her. "This Summer heat is a nuisance. That said, I can use a stock of ice. Do you think you can make..."

I calculate the cost of making boots, making blades and then mounting the blades on the boots. I also calculate the price of ice and compare it to the price of the skates.

I inform Cirno on the amount of ice I want from her.

"That's... yeah, I can make that much!"

The problem I face now is that I need a place to store the ice.

...

Outside of Kourindou, Cirno is sitting in a chair while reading a picture book. She is doing this as she has nothing to do at this time. This is because I am in the process of building the object needed to store ice in.

Scrounging around the surrounding forest area, and using my skills with materializing scimitar from my life force and using said blades with my best precision, I chop away the wood needed to create the outer walls of the box I intend to make. For insulation, I use sawdust. The inner walls, I use rock.

The rock is tricky to work with, even when making my life force blades as sharp as I can muster. It doesn't help when the swords break after I use them a single digit number of times. But that is what it takes to make such a wonderful object of science.

My work takes me from mid morning to mid afternoon. In fact, I do not notice Kourindou's next visitor until she speaks.

"Rinnosuke!"

This voice is all too familiar, especially since I heard it earlier today when I was bartering with the Seven Colored Puppeteer.

Satori Komeiji... and she's wearing another set of clothing.

For one, it is entirely black, including the shoes. The tutu doesn't have frills but rather feathers, not to mention is smaller than what she was wearing hours ago. The top half looks to be made of two flaps designed to extend from her tutu and stop short of reaching the top of her bust with their respective pointed ends. They're probably reinforced somehow seeing as she is managing to walk in that without them slipping off and exposing her bare top.

But it's the Summer Afternoon, so being so exposed is too surprising.

"Hello Ms. Komeiji, if there is something you want, you'll have to wait." I don't hear her respond, but I can assume she heard me.

...

Not an hour goes by before I am finished constructing the icebox.

"Cirno!" I call out as I carry the large icebox into the Kourindou. Cirno beams up from the book I lent her. "I need you to fill this box up with Ice."

"Okay!"

Cirno focuses as she reaches her hands out to the inside of the open box. The temperature in the room starts dropping, starting at the open space in the box. My breaths can be seen. Water begins to condensate on the inside of the box. As the water increases, ice begins forming in the water.

It does not take more than a minute for the entire box to be filled with ice.

"Done!" Cirno proclaims as she turns to me.

"Thank you, and as for payment..." I lift of the pair of figure skates before her.

"The skates!" she shouts in excitement as she takes them from me.

The Ice fairy's excitement is explosive. She is reducing the temperature of the already cold room due to her raging emotions. As I am used to the snow of Youkai Mountain's winters, this would not hurt me, but my body was expecting the heat of the Summer to be sticking around. As a result, a chill goes down my spine.

My ear twitches at the sound of something clinking against itself, teeth chattering. I turn my head to see Satori hugging herself. If I was her, I would have waited outside given the fairy's presence if I was dressed in so little clothing... unless it's that embarrassing? It's not my place to judge as I do not know the circumstances as to why Satori is dressed in so little clothing. But it is minimally curious.

The short contemplation has made me forget about the cold long enough to not notice my body adjusting to it. Since I am no longer cold, I can focus on my next task without having to worry about the Ice fairy's presence. I take my seat behind the desk, pick up the list Rinnosuke gave me, and begin writing.

"Teehee, they fit!" Cirno happily giggles as she laces the stakes she slipped her feet into. "Thanks Mr. Shopkeeper!"

I nod but say nothing in response before turning back to the list. The purpose of the edits I am making are to insure Rinnosuke knows of the profits I make him while he is out. Thus, I cross off _Figure Skates_ from the list and replace it with _Icebox_ and _Ice_.

"Ow!" Cirno yelps. I look up to see she is on her rear, she probably fell after failing an attempt of balance on the stakes.

"Careful," I tell her before looking back down to the list. Putting the list onto the desk, I shut my eyes lids, taking my view off the world as I lean back into the chair. Thinking about it, this is the first time today that Rinnosuke actually benefited from a transaction.

In hind sight, I probably should have charged Cirno more for the skates and make a bigger Icebox. The ice will eventually melt even inside the icebox since it cannot actively keep its contents cold aside from simply maintaining said temperature.

...

Something is sitting on my lap.

I open my eyes to see Satori sitting in it, in the process of pulling her knees to her chin, curling into a sort of upright fetal position.

"What are you doing on my lap?" I ask her.

"I'll f-f-freeze to d-d-death if I don't w-w-w-warm mys-s-s-self up," she answers as she leans against my chest on her side, "And you're warm."

Feeling her skin through the fabric of my clothes, I can tell she is in fact colder than me.

...

If someone walked in, this would cause some misunderstandings.

... I can't do anything with someone sitting on my lap. I need some sort of physical or mental activity.

"Y-you know... t-this un-n-natural cold reminds me of that t-t-t-time."

Time?

"In Old Hell before I b-became ruler of the Palace of the Earth Spirits, and before I u-u-united the animals of Hell... I tried t-to isolate mys-s-self from th-th-th-those who would hate me."

Really? What happened?

"It w-w-was bef-f-f-fore it became c-c-cold... H-h-h-hell was h-h-hot. And s-s-so I was wand-d-d-d-dering w-w-when I f-f-f-found a pl-l-l-lace that was c-c-c-c-c-cold. I c-c-c-came acr-r-r-ross it, a cr-r-r-reature w-w-w-whose mind c-c-c-could not be unders-s-s-stood. It f-f-f-felt-t cold. It f-f-felt like it was s-s-s-so pow-w-w-werful that it c-c-c-could kill m-m-me with-thout notic-c-cing. Its appear-r-r-ance remin-n-nded me of the g-g-god of cal-l-lamity... and the foreign fr-rost gi-iants. I fl-fled."

This sounds familiar.

"I th-think it and the m-monster we c-came across those centuries ago... are one... and the same..."

To be honest, I do not know what to make of those words.

...

The slowed breathing, while I turn to look down at her, I do not need to see to tell that she is asleep.

I look up at the sound of the crackling that occurs when something is freezing. I see that Cirno is in the process of freezing the floor to cover it in ice. The problem is that if that happens, the ice will melt into water which will seep into the wood, causing it to mildew. I have to stop her!

"Cirno, stop!" I shout as I stand, forgetting all about the girl sitting on my lap. Satori squeaks as she collapses onto the floor. Cirno and I both pause. I look down to see three glaring eyes looking back at me.

"You!" Satori growls in anger despite the cold.

* * *

**From the Author:**

Now depending on how well I can write a certain segment, we're either continuing this day or skipping to tomorrow.

Thanks to Wolfsbane706 for proofreading.


	7. Chapter 7

Rinnosuke: Sanae, we're in big trouble!

Sanae: It wasn't me!

Rinnosuke: Oh yes it was!

Sanae: Damn it, I knew it!

Rinnosuke: It's okay, Sanae. I know how to fix this.

Sanae: Fix what?

Rinnosuke: You see Sanae, the author has been listed as a favorite fanfiction author.

Sanae: But Rinnosuke, what could be wrong with that?

Rinnosuke: Everything, you fool! For one, he hasn't even written a fanfiction yet! Or at least he hasn't done one RIGHT!

Sanae: Oh no! What are we gonna do? All of the good fanfiction plots are taken!

Rinnosuke: That's where you're wrong, Sanae. There IS one left! Ladies and gentlemen, turn on your interwebz as I give you the greatest and most unique fanfiction plot ever! "Gary in Gensokyo!"

Sanae: Sounds awesome, but what makes it so great of a story, Rinnosuke?

Rinnosuke: I'm glad you asked! The story is about this boy named Gary, an underachiever who is spirited away to Gensokyo in his sleep! He meets Rumia who decides to eat him, but he beats her up with his fists for no apparent explanation as to why he is able to do so. He learns the ways of Gensokyo from Reimu or Marisa and visits all of the primary locations. He then discovers an awesome power that makes him invincible. He then meets Reisen, they get hitched immediately and have crazy bunny on human sex. Then he has to resolve an incident caused by Yukari playing with a boundary because Youmu, Sakuya, Sanae, Reimu and Marisa aren't present.

Sanae: ...

Rinnosuke: So... what do you think?

Sanae: ...

Rinnosuke: Silenced in awe I see. It was actually rather hard for me to come up with something so good.

Sanae: If this was Hard Mode, I don't want to see Lunatic Mode.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

"IDIOT!" Satori screamed. I could see how Morichika would be worried about an army of women being angry with him if I had problems with only having one woman being angry with me.

Cirno and Satori had long left and I was stuck cleaning up the mess the former made. But aside from rearranging the items that were for sale, the rest of the day had been uneventful. And before I knew it, the sun had set.

The day was over.

But thanks to a certain Buddhist nun, I've yet to read the novel _Magical Maid Sakuya Chan._ So reading it is how I will end my night.

I take off the gibus and toss it onto an accessory rack set up in the main room. I take off the Inuit snow goggles and place them onto the table.

That is when the wind blows through the slightly open windows, carrying the scent of a woman who is right outside the front door.

I forgot to lock it!

"Rinnosuke, I came to visit!" shouts a young voice as she enters. The owner has the height and build expected of an adolescent youkai, probably 300 years of age (I believe humans would be 13 to have this build). Superficially, she has no defining features as to indicate what her species is. However, her scent is that of a youkai.

Of course, even if I was not able to determine her species by smell, her presence and the fact she is this far from the Human Village at this time of night while having such a cheery attitude would indicate that she is a youkai.

She has red eyes and short blond hair, she is wearing a black vest and skirt, a white blouse with a red tie bordered by two large red beads around her neck. She also has a small red ribbon like amulet tied to the left side of her hair.

"Hello Rumia. We're closed this late in the day. Can I hel-"

"You're not Rinnosuke," she immediately states, scrunching her nose.

"Oh?" I ask.

"Rinnosuke's mother has human shaped ears," she points at my ear, "And his father was human."

"My youkai blood is-"

"Rinnosuke is already full grown. He's shorter than you and his shoulders aren't as broad. And the fact you don't seem to know my relationship to him means you're not him." She scrunches her nose. "You reek of Tengu."

...

I suppose I shouldn't bother denying it.

"Yes, Miss, I am not Mr. Morichika. The store is still clos-"

"Where is Rinnosuke?" she interrupts me again. I can see she is serious. Despite knowing that I am a Tengu, she is willing to risk demanding me of something.

But I'm not so insecure that I need to beat her down with my fists for making a fool out of me. I'll break her down with words.

"I am here so that he will not be found by anyone," I tell her.

"Mind me asking why?" she asks. And now for the main attack.

"Because he found the woman he loved and doesn't want anyone else to bother him," I explain. "He's sick and tired of women bothering him, and when he finally found the one woman he was in love with, he wanted to keep her a secret out of fear of his own death and/or hers because what would happen if someone found out about it."

Rumia's face changes from threatening to... happiness.

"Oh good!" she exclaims. "For a moment I was afraid it was something bad!"

...

Rumia is happy that Morichika ran off to meet his lover?

"You aren't upset?"

"Of course not! I would eventually want grandchildren."

Wait a second, Rumia wants Morichika to make her grandchildren? Well, no she doesn't, but she eventually will? Either way, the only person who could make such a demand of a man is...

"And given how short-lived he's going to be-"

"Wait, grandchildren?" I interrupt her. "Are you his..."

Rumia blinked at me for a moment.

"I spawned him," she clarified, "So I guess that makes me his mother."

Rumia, a small youkai girl with a childish body, is claiming to be Morichika's mother?

"He... he said his mother was raped, but you... you have the body of an adolescent. Are you saying..."

Rumia's expression indicates that she understands my concern. Immediately, she shakes her head.

"No. It was before my power was sealed," she explains. "So I was fairly tall at the time. I think I would be taller than the Red-white."

"Red-white" is a common term to refer to the Hakurei Shrine Maiden. It is a trend that started after the creation of the Hakurei Boundary and became even more popular with the initiation of Reimu Hakurei as the head Shrine Maiden. I know Reimu Hakurei is above average in height by her species' standards.

At least among those living in Gensokyo.

"Your power was sealed?" I ask her.

"Yeah, one of those Mountain Youkai was kind enough to help me. So now my power will remain sealed until either someone breaks the seal, until it wears away or until my true power is no longer a danger to me."

"How long until it wears away?"

"I don't remember the details but..." She crosses her eyes, tilts her head and rubs her chin with her hand for a moment before snapping her fingers and looking back at me.

"I think they said that it's only supposed to last 60 to 65 years at most and that I should be fully healed by then. But they said that since I was powerful, it could lose its efficiency sooner. So..." She beams brightly, pointing to the ribbon in her hair. "It could actually break any time now. I'll know when I can touch it."

So Rumia's powers became a problem for her due to injury, and the seal was placed on her so that she wouldn't be a danger to herself? What kind of injury does that? I suppose I shouldn't worry if the caster of the seal knew his or her work.

"Who was the individual who cast the spell?" I ask.

"Hmmmmm," Rumia closes her eyes and crosses her arms. "Don't remember. This seal mucks around with my memory."

That is unfortunate. Perhaps I should-

A bell starts ringing.

The door swings wide open, revealing another individual. She is one who has visited multiple times already.

"Rinnosuke! I came by to play!" shouts Satori, again wearing an outfit different from the ones she was wearing before.

A black bodice (although it looks more like a bustier), less modest than the leotard she wore when Alice appeared, but less revealing than the black dance outfit she wore when Cirno appeared. It is laced from top to bottom with thin four thin segments of hot pink, each line ending at the top with a ribbon. The front is tied together with matching laces. The bodice also doesn't completely cover her bust, exposing an amount of cleavage. The dress isn't flat skirted either, light pink frills with a matching bow, it reminds me somewhat of her normal clothing. The skirt did not even reach her knees. She adorned sleek black gloves that covered everything below her biceps, and she wore black thigh-high stockings suspended by thigh straps along with her black ballet shoes.

Now I won't need to read _Magical Maid Sakuya-Chan_ tonight.

However, Satori isn't commenting on my thoughts of her outfit. In fact, she isn't even looking at me. She is looking at Rumia and not moving. Satori is here in a dress, that looks nothing like the dresses I usually see, for reasons I have yet to discover while Rumia here, Morichika's mother, knows that I am not Morichika.

There is a long and awkward pause.

"I-I'm sorry," Satori says as she backs out through the door she entered, closing it after she is out of the building. There is another pause before Rumia turns to me and speaks.

"... So... Rinnosuke's into ballerinas?" she asks. I only have one truthful answer for her.

"I honestly don't know the story behind that."

* * *

**From the Author:**

Sanae: Disclaimer? Pfft, please! I'm a loli!

Rinnosuke: Oh, no you're not!

_Proofread by Demon Neko Shen, Kaiser Dude and Achariyth1._


	8. Chapter 8

Alice: ***censored*** Ah, ah, AH! Oh yes, yes! Master Proofreader, you're so goooooood! Oh, harder! Pound me harder! Go rougher with me! Grind my insides! Destroy me! Spank me like the bad girl I've been! Mess me up!

Sanae: ***jaw hanging***

Rinnosuke: ***jaw hanging***

Alice: ***too hot for this fic*** Be rougher with me! I need to feel it! Make it HURT! Oh YES! Master Proofreader, I love it!

Rinnosuke: I know we needed a metaphor regarding how thorough we needed the last two chapters proofread and how the author wanted the proofreader to be harsher with his work, but...

Sanae: Why is she here!?

Rinnosuke: Wait, what?

Sanae: The main characters in this fic are you and me! Why is Alice here?!

Rinnosuke: That's what you're worried about? Not the possibility that we're overstepping the rating for this fic?

Sanae: Besides the disclaimer, the only people who are supposed to appear HERE are those listed by the fic's summary!

Marisa: Hey, wait! My name's on the list as the third protagonist (although it never shows up in the search engine)! But I'm never allowed to join you guys!

Sanae: Not now, Marisa. The adults are bus-

Rinnosuke: HOLY FECES!

Sanae: What Rinnosuke, what!?

Rinnosuke: There's two Marisas!

Sanae: ...

Marisa: ...

Sanae: You need to replace your glasses, Rinnosuke.

Alice: ***Don't show Mom*** Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Morning, the third day.

With my top hat and Inuit snow goggles, my disguise is once again up.

Sitting in the chair behind the desk, I can smell many things outside. The insects, the birds, the small fuzzy mammals, the satori who is a couple hundred meters away and closing.

She will be here momentarily, but I will take this opportunity to do something while I wait...

What's this on the floor? An old newspaper? The publisher reads _Kakashi Spirit News_. So the hybrid gets Himekaidou's newspaper?

I pick it up and begin reading it.

...

_Among all of the incidents that led up to the development of the spellcard system, the Vampire Incident was both among the more recent as well as among the more extreme cases._

_The issues leading up to the Vampire Incident started back when the Hakurei Border was first established a little over a century ago._

_Due to the meager number of humans and an inability to obtain sufficient belief and fear from other animals, the existences of many youkai were in danger._

_For the youkai who found their joys in confronting each other, these fights often would damage whole areas. This would lead to the Shrine Maidens often attempting to intervene._

_As a result, incidents involving the Hakurei Shrine Maidens became burdensome as anyone instigating them who wanted to survive would have to make sure to defeat the Hakurei without killing them. Youkai falling into this category would have their spirits crushed as they would either fail, or find that the outcome they desired was not worth the effort they put into it._

_And in the case of some individuals, the very survival of Gensokyo would be at stake as they would deliberately attack the Hakurei in hopes to kill the shrine maidens. One such individual was the Evil Spirit responsible for killing numerous lives, both animals and youkai, including our former Alpha White Wolf Tengu, Sarudoi Me._

_The following I gathered thanks to my spirit photography. All photos have been compiled in chronological order._

_Less than ten years after the birth of Reimu Hakurei, a powerful youkai came into Gensokyo and made her domain on the island in the Misty Lake. This devil-like being, called a vampire, managed to defeat multiple low and moderate level youkai and recruited them._

_The vampire and her maid later attacked a murder of Crow Tengu and captured four of them. They took the captives into their mansion._

_Soon after, a red-haired youkai woman confronted Sasuke Ito, a White Wolf Tengu guardsman, at the mansion's gate. After her defeat, Sasuke ran inside the mansion._

_Immediately after, the vampire left the mansion and met up with those she recruited and attacked several locations, including the Human Village. The vampire then engaged the shrine maiden in battle, defeated her and brought her unconcious body back to the mansion._

_One of the harvest goddesses was let into the mansion by the gate's guard without being given any trouble._

_Sasuke exited the mansion with one of the kidnapped crows, and met the Harvest Goddess at the gate. She left with a flying boar who carried away the Crow Tengu, and Sasuke went back inside._

_Soon afterward, a wing of the mansion exploded. Sasuke leapt out and did battle with a devil who followed him and the giant wolf youkai that had been sleeping outside the mansion._

_Once both the devil and giant wolf were exterminated, Sasuke helped the shrine maiden flee the scene. The vampire summoned an army of demons to battle Sasuke._

_The area was too dense with magical energies for my spirit photography to make anything out until after that fight was over._

_A survivor of the battle, a one-eyed spokesman for the Vampire's Army, had this to say about what happened when the huge concentration of magic energy appeared:_

_"The demons summoned overwhelmed him! And they almost had him until he made an ass-pull so big that it would make a kappa jealous! I think the density of magic alone was killing the plants in the area."_

_The demon army was defeated, the concentration of magical energy died down. The vampire attacked Sasuke and their fight raged from the outskirts of the Mansion to the Forest of Magic. A tornado appeared, so strong that my spirit photography failed a second time when trying to see inside of it. But it tore many trees from the ground._

_After the tornado wound down and fizzled out, the vampire was found with her head cut clean off, and Sasuke had a large part of his head blown out._

_Several curious Tengu onlookers appeared afterwards, as well as residents of the mansion and surviving members of the Vampire's Army. After they had a heated discussion, Sasuke was taken by the Tengu who arrived, and the vampire taken by the residents of the mansion._

_On the day he recovered, I tried interviewing Sasuke himself. When I asked him what happened in the tornado, he answered:_

_"My apologies, but I don't want to talk about the incident."_

_In spite of my best efforts, my interview with Sasuke yielded nothing new. Since we Tengu aren't allowed to approach the mansion on the lake, I cannot ask the vampire herself what happened._

_The fighting between the Humans and Tengu and the Vampire and her armies resulted in enough loss of life and environmental damages to spark meetings between the youkai sages. The recently introduced spellcard system was the result of them negotiating with both each other and the Shrine Maiden, Reimu Hakurei. But while it promises a non-lethal form of resolving incidents, only time will tell how long it can last._

...

Wait, a second, I don't remember speaking to Himekaidou until after I left Ms. Aya's house a week after I recovered. And when I did, she didn't interview me. Did am I having another case of amnesia again? That shouldn't be the case...

I won't waste time thinking about it.

Unless I was betrayed by my own species, the vampire clearly attacked me in some method which rendered permanent memory loss. One could argue that a youkai with a simple head injury would heal without any problems, but everything stops being simple when you introduce divine power, magic, qi or even certain youkai abilities into the equation.

That answers the question as to how I've lost my memories.

More importantly, there is nothing talking about what happened to the Hakurei Shrine Maiden, the predecessor of the current Shrine Maiden, Reimu Hakurei. It's been said that she's mysteriously died during the days which I was unconscious, but I don't recall evidence ever being shown.

My train of thought is interrupted and I perk my ears up at the sound of the bell. I really should stop being so lax and relying on it when my sense of smell is a better detection system when I pay attention to it.

I look up from the newspaper to see Satori walk in.

"Good morning, Rinnosuke," she says cheerfully as she enters.

This is the third day I've seen her in a row. Can she really spend so much time above ground without getting into trouble? While I personally don't have a problem with their species being in Gensokyo, I don't think she should be risking causing an uproar.

"Don't worry about it, look at what I'm wearing and tell me what you think!" she demands in a playful tone.

This new outfit of Satori's appears to be a one piece, a light pink bodice and a skirt. The skirt begins at her waist and reaches almost a third down her thighs. Like the bodice from last night, it only reaches as far as just above the nipple line, allowing the top of her cleavage to be exposed for all to see.

While I liked what she wore last night more, this outfit's simplicity is commendable.

I have been meaning to ask her this question for days now, but why is she even here wearing ballet dresses and constantly visiting? Well, I am assuming they're for ballet.

"They are," she confirms. This only solidifies my reasoning for being confused. I cannot come up with a logical explanation for it.

Is she trying to play the part of a woman who is trying to seduce Rinnosuke? No, she has nothing to gain, especially given that youkai from the Underground are only allowed a short amount of time to be above ground.

And if she actually wanted Rinnosuke and wasn't faking it, she'd have an easier time going to him in the Human Village and not wasting her time here.

Is she trying to see my reactions (or another individual's) to determine how someone else would react to the costume she's wearing and the dances she's performing? No, because my tastes shouldn't match up with that other person's, otherwise she'd be doing everything different. Unless she's trying to gauge the reactions of someone with disinterest to someone with interest.

And even then, she'd be better off going to that someone, reading their mind and determining what their fetishes are. She shouldn't be wasting her time here.

Is she trying to tease or seduce me specifically? That can't be it either because, again, she would be using both a different clothing style and a different dance style.

Not that she doesn't appear provocative as she is.

And this thought provokes her to speak.

"Well, I can't exactly leave for the Underground until I'm certain my invasion for-" She stops herself.

...

Wait, what?

"Silly, you know me well enough to know what I'm planning," she giggles as she makes a sign for "love" (or "loser") with her hand.

Ah, and according to my nose, Nue is entering the building.

"Wait, what?" Satori asks with mild confusion. She turns around at the sound of the bell.

"Satori," says Nue, "I didn't know you were so attention starved!"

This new girl is one I am already acquainted with as she tried to sneak onto the mountain more than once.

Short black hair and dark red eyes, three red metallic-looking wings on the right side of her back and three blue arrow-shaped tails coming out from her left side. She has a snake on her right arm and is wearing a black wristband on her left wrist. Her dress is all black with blue and white trim in the middle, a red bow on the front, and a small, yin-yang-like tomoe design at the bottom corner of the skirt of her dress. She is also wearing black thigh-high stockings and red shoes with bows on them.

I don't see her trident, though.

Although something I will not understand is why I am instinctively drawn to the section between the bottom of her skirt and the tops of her thigh-high stockings.

Nue, however, is not interested in me it seems. The first thing to come out of her mouth is to Satori.

"When you kept exposing my identity and ruining my fun, I figured that you were just being a bully," she says with a perverse smile. "But seeing as you knew I had a ballerina fetish..."

A split second and Nue is already on top of Satori, grabbing her, nibbling at her ear and touching her inappropriately all while trying to pin her to the ground.

"W-wait, what?! N-no! Stop it, Nue!" Satori protested.

"Nuehehehe! Your resistance makes me even more excited!"

"Ladies," I say loud enough for Nue to register my existence. "As much as I want to enjoy this show, I don't want odd rumors spreading around about this place."

"Don't worry Shop Keeper, I'll make us both remain undefined so that no one will see what's going on."

"Waaaaaaaaah!" Satori screamed as she thrashed at Nue to get her off.

This won't help me seeing as I already know what's happening. Not only that, it won't stop rumors from being spread, it will just change the types of rumors. I need to get her to stop it.

"That will not do," I tell her. "If you don't want me closing the shop and joining in, then please do it somewhere else."

...

Huh, I probably should have used a different set of words. But Nue looked at me and gave me a straight answer.

* * *

**From the Author:**

Sanae: Rinnosuke, your turn to do the Disclaimer.

Rinnosuke: Alright. Come here, you! *unzips pants*

Disclaimer: Wai-What!? NO! NO! NO!

Sanae: That's not what I meant by "DO!"

_Proofread by Achariyth1, Kaiser Dude, and Demon Neko Shen (and kinda, sorta Winged Ikaros)._


	9. Chapter 9

Rinnosuke: Zuuuuuu... Zuuuuuuu

Sanae: ZUN

Rinnosuke: Ooooooooooo

Sanae: owns

Rinnosuke: Tooooo... toooo

Sanae: Touhou

Rinnosuke: IT'S NOT A DAMN RACE!

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Finally, some alone time!

My nose cannot smell anything that is human, youkai, hybrid or alien on the shop's perimeter. My eyes also see nothing of the sort as I look around before entering. The complete lack of anything in this domain aside from small animals means one thing to me: alone time. I can now do those things such as reading books like the one the owner of this store sold to me.

_Magical Maid Sakuya-Chan_. It's a story about a human girl named Sakuya who is a maid that becomes a magical girl. She uses her magical powers, in a world devoid of magic to fight monsters. The setting is the outside world, so that justifies the lack of magic.

The reason I have yet to read this book in the last two days was because a certain nun and a mind reader gave me enough stimulation for me to not have a need to read the book.

Two things I recall about the book is that Sakuya was believed to be wearing pads when she is in fact well endowed, and a scene about purple tentacles.

Hopefully, knowing these two things will not spoil the plot for me, not that I won't enjoy reading the book even if it did.

While the erotic material in these books is their selling point, the fact remains that the author is exceptionally good at writing stories. Even without the erotic scenes and illustrations from _Miracle Sanae-Chan_, the story would have been phenomenal. And while I have not read _Miracle Sanae-Chan 2_ myself, I've heard it was as great if not better than the first one.

And so, alone in Kourindou, I will finally finish what I've been trying to start since I first came to this shop.

...

_"Kyaaaa!" Patchouli screamed as she was grappled by __the tentacles of__ her summoned servant. "Why are you attacking me?!"_

_"Ms. Patchouli, I'll assist you!" Sakuya said as she reached for the hunting knife she kept on her person._

_"No, stop!" Patchouli ordered. "If you attack it, it'll just leech magic off of me. Focus on the enemy!"_

...

Wow, I don't remember _Miracle Sanae-Chan_ getting into the "good stuff" this quickly. Also, perhaps it's because I'm a White Wolf Tengu, but I find this heroine's hair to be attractive.

...

_Koakuma smirked at her snail like-opponent. Its appendages launched themselves at her with enough speed to startle a vampire, __but __a successful strike clearly was not to be when they collided against the invisible wall._

...

Is it just me, or is there something repetitive about this book?

...

_"Oh come on!" Sakuya shouted in __annoyance as __the thick slimy tentacles gripped her body, "This again!?"_

...

Oh, that's why.

...

_"Mistress Remilia," the maid said as she raised her scepter, "The fact remains that you can't be allowed to continue like this."_

_"What happened to your devotion? Why are you so quick to betray me!?" the vampire demanded._

_"You're mistaken. I... I love you, Mistress. I love you with all of my heart. That is why it must be me!"_

_"You've made me angry, SA-KU-YA-!"_

...

The way the story is written allows the readers to take the serious moments seriously. This includes the fight scenes.

After an hour of reading, I've come to the conclusion that the author is becoming better at writing and the artist is becoming better at drawing.

That said, ignoring the fact that the plot is better than what occurred in _Miracle Sanae-Chan_, the book _Magical Maid Sakuya-Chan_ is better in the way the story is executed.

But why are there so many tentacles? I don't have a problem with the fetish itself, but the sheer amount in this novel is somehow disturbing. So many different colors, shapes, textures and functions; the total number of combinations were too many to waste time counting. To be honest, given the author's and artist's previous works, I should have expected something of this nature. A consistent fetish taking form in every scene where it could fit without dampening the quality of the plot. But even so, I cannot help but asking... Why are there so many tentacles!?

"WHAT IN THE NINE HELLS!?"

I jolt at sudden voice of a woman shouting. Looking up, I see a woman with gray eyes, silver hair worn in long braids on both sides of her face with green bows at the ends and a white maid headband. Her clothing is white and dark blue outfit, with a red stripe at the collar and with a white apron with matching short sleeves.

Actually, she looks like the heroine from _Magical Maid Sakuya-Chan_. Just switch the maid outfits and...

Oh wait... _Miracle Sanae-Chan _was based on a real person. It should have occurred to me that _Magical __Maid Sakuya-Chan_ was also based on a real person. Is this, perhaps, the person standing right in front of me?

"Sakuya Izayoi, I presume?" I ask, keeping my face as straight as possible. I should have smelled her a kilometer away. Or at least heard her when she entered the shop if she was simply super fast. Wait, the heroine of the novel I'm reading has the ability to stop time-

"You perverted bastard!" she shouts as she pulls a knife out from under her skirt.

Unfortunately for her, I am faster. In the amount of time it takes for her to bring her knife up; I pull up my hakama and loincloth to conceal my privates, stand up from where I am sitting, and reach out to grab her by the wrist. Thank you, mother and father, for allowing me to be born a Tengu.

And she vanishes in midair before I can even make contact.

I feel slight displacements of air. Normally, one wouldn't even notice them. But in this situation, they are occurring from all possible directions. And with each displacement appears a knife. Above, below, left, right, behind, in front, and so many diagonal combinations that it's impossible to move without being hit by one.

Of course, they are all flying at me.

The pain is excruciating.

I can feel more pain as the weight of my body colliding with the ground forces the blades stuck in my back deeper into me.

This would make sense except that I never registered falling over. Rather, I was standing inside Kourindou, and now I am suddenly on my back... outside of Kourindou.

Something that looks like a carriage appears above me, out of thin air. It is a three wheeled horseless carriage like the ones from the outside world. The front, or back, wheel that is alone is centered and so wide that it even wider than the carriage itself. It looks also to be made entirely out of various metals. The wheels are gray, and the body is white.

Oh, and it's also falling towards me.

...

Oh, feces!

...

...

...

With my eyelids heavy and my vision blurry, there is no point in trying to keep them open. Before I let my eyes close shut, I note the sky is the color brown.

As I return to the blackness, I hear two voices speaking.

"Well... this is a complication," a girl says in a monotone. "This is the youkai that humiliated everyone in the Scarlet Devil Mansion."

"So Sakuya just got revenge for all of us?" asks the voice of a young woman. My sense of smell returns to me and confirms that my hearing is accurate; there is a girl and a young woman near me. "I say we play a prank on him, I can booby trap this whole building in an hour!"

With my eyes closed, I focus on my nose to take in every scent in the room. The smells of a woman and girl match their respective voices. In addition, I can smell a traces of fruit coming from the girl and flowers from the woman. Also, the woman's oddly alluring natural scent cannot mask the hint of sulfur and brimstone, much like a certain Raven woman I know only weaker.

"Don't be an idiot, Koakuma!" the girl says with annoyance. "The last time our head maid nearly killed a Tengu, it led to that humiliation."

"I thought it was because the Devil's sister-"

The woman called Koakuma is cut off by the younger female. "Never mind that. Sakuya assaulted him without following the spellcard rules. On top of that fact, he's here and I've yet to pay him what I owe him."

The girl and the young woman continue to talk, but I cannot make out what they are saying either due my shifting out of consciousness. I open my eyes again to see if I can make out my surroundings. Shifting my eyes around, I can see I am back inside Kourindou. I can also see the two female youkai who were responsible for the conversation I was hearing.

One appears to be only a few hundred years old by youkai standards, fairly short with a shapely figure. She has hair and eyes that are a dark shade of violet, lavender pajama-like clothing, a night-cap and ribbons tied to her hair and body. I can smell that she is a youkai, and the hint of incense and herbs mean that she is likely a magician.

The other appears to be at least several decades, if not a century or two, older. Fairly tall and in much better shape than the magician, she is wearing a black skirt and matching vest over a white shirt. She has a small pair of black, bat-like wings on the sides of her head and much larger pair on her back. She also has long red hair.

"Eh!? You wagered my body!?" Koakuma asks. "How did this happen again?"

"He snuck into the library, you failed to seduce him and I decided to kill him outright. He wanted to make a wager on who was the better magician and I accepted without caring about his demand because I assumed I would win. I lost, and so now he's legally entitled to fornicate with you. Wait, you were there when it happened!" the magician girl shouts. "You even commented that only insane celestial women would appreciate the size of his-"

"And not only are we indebted to him because you accepted a bet, but now Sakuya's assault on this guy could cause bad rumors to spread about us?!"

"I personally wouldn't care," says the girl. "But Remi is trying to get Sakuya to breed, which requires her becoming accepted by the humans in the Human Village. Anything opposing that will upset Remi. And when Remi gets upset, she tends to involve everyone but Flan and the butler."

"Wait, we have a butler? Since when? Wait, never mind that. What do I do!?" Koakuma asks. It is now that my throat feels like it can function. I test this and say the first thing that comes to mind.

"The logical course of action: be quiet and let the injured youkai rest," I say. I open my eyes and can see that my vision is no longer blurry. I still feel pain from the injuries inflicted upon me by the maid.

"EEK!" the bat-like youkai woman screams as she jumps onto the back of the magician who is completely unfazed.

"You're awake. How much did you hear?" she asks, straight to the point.

"You admitted that your maid attacked me and you want me to keep quiet about her lack of elegant behavior... and you owe me the devil girl's body."

Now that I think about it, I could have worded that differently. If I know them like the magician claims, I could spur their suspicion as to why I am acting the way I do.

"Thanks for reminding me about that, by the way. I forgot about that bet," I add. Hopefully they think it's simply forgetfulness and not actual amnesia.

Koakuma says nothing, but she looks emotionally hurt. Was it something I said?

"Is there anything in particular you want?" the small girl asks.

"First, I would appreciate if you could undo the damage your maid has done." The magician looks over my body before speaking.

"If you don't mind me using your magic reserves," the magician says while pointing out my healing wounds, "I can heal you. I'm aware your body would heal within three weeks tops, but I can fix these injuries in a matter of minutes."

"Please do," I say. The sooner I heal, the better. It doesn't take long before the feeling of relief coming from the magician's hand washes over me in the form of green mist. My body is completely healed. "Thank you."

"Please don't mention it, Mr. Tengu... ever," she says, emphasizing the last word. But this brings me back to my original problem. They obviously know that I am not the owner of this shop. Meaning if I am asleep or unconscious, anyone else can find out my true identity. Has anyone else found out? I need a better disguise than a hat and snow-goggles.

"One last thing; how are you with illusions?" I ask the magician.

"Illusions?"

"I need to look like the owner of this shop until he returns."

"I won't refuse if that's all you want in return for not talking," she says. "But out of curiosity, what are you doing here?"

Before I can open my mouth, Koakuma answers the question for the magician.

"The shopkeeper went to the Human Village to meet a loved one for White Day. He didn't want anyone to follow him."

Huh, what?

"I learned how to probe memories since our last encounter," she says. I try to piece this together, but I am in too much shock to come up with anything to say. The room is silent for several seconds.

Another mind reader? Does this mean that she knows of my amnesia as well?

"Is something wrong?" she asks, tilting her head to the side. Her face is quizzical as if she has no idea what I am worried about.

"I... see," says the magician. She appears to be pondering what to do. It does not take long before she speaks again. "Whatever, I'll start casting an illusion spell to make you look like the shopkeeper."

"Thank you," I say. The magician lifts up her hand. And with a twinkle of magic, she's finished.

"Done. It will last a few hours at best." The magician turns to Koakuma. "Koakuma, I'm heading back for the mansion. Kindly rock his world before going to the Human Village to conduct your business. I want my debt behind me before the day is through."

"Eh?" Koakuma asks, looking at the magician.

"That's what I promised him, didn't I? You're not getting out of this," says the girl as she makes her way out to the building's exit. "Be sure to leach off of him if you can do it without killing him. And collect some spell components if at all possible."

"Y-yes Mistress Patchouli," Koakuma stutters in clear fear. The ringing of the door's bell and wood slamming against wood serve as clear indicators that the youkai magician is no longer in Kourindou.

Koakuma looks up to me, fighting back tears. "I know that I am experienced," she chokes out while looking back at me. "But even so... please be gentle."

Such an attractive woman with such a face... for some reason I am enticed by her appearance. I do not even notice when my hand reached out to grab her.

"W-wait!" Koakuma pleads. "Mr. Ito, this is all because you lost your copy of _Magical Maid Sakuya-Chan_, right? How much of it have you read?"

Now that I think about it, my eyes shifting around the entire room, I can't see the novel which was given to me in return for helping the hybrid. Without a shred of it remaining, it appears that Ms. Izayoi stole it.

"I've read all of it. Even the epilogue that implies that both Sakuya Izayoi and Sanae Kochiya will cross paths in the next book," I say.

"In that case, can I just replace it?" she asks.

"You have a copy of Magical Maid Sakuya-Chan?" I ask. I am surprised, I know the fanbase of the series has women, but I never considered the possibility of coming across a fellow fan that was female. The series was geared for the male audience, after all.

"Not on me, but..." She rifles through her satchel and pulls out a book.

On the cover, it shows both Sakuya Izayoi and Sanae Kochiya in their magical girl uniforms in familiar artwork. The book is labeled _Miracle Sanae-Chan vs. Magical Maid Sakuya-Chan_.

"I actually have a copy of the fourth book. It's non-erotic, but as the artist, I can even give you a signed copy!"

She is the artist for the series? As in, she drew all four books?

"You're Imizu?" I ask her.

"It's my pen-name for the series," she confirms. I had suspected that Imizu was a pen-name, but I was not expecting that Koakuma and Imizu were the same individual. "I can't have everyone knowing my identity now, can I?"

That makes sense. If Ms. Izayoi stabbed me and dropped a giant metal carriage on me because I was reading it, who knew what she would do to Koakuma for drawing it.

"And as a bonus, I'll even draw you into one of the scenes of the upcoming story, _Myon Myon Youmu-Chan _as an extra, just so long as you're okay being depicted with a sack on your head and getting it on with Yuyuko Saigyouji."

"Is that safe?" I ask.

"What do you mean?"

"Depicting the Queen of the Netherworld with a Tengu in such a way, won't that upset her?"

"Oh, we have permission," Koakuma says with an excited smile. "We have permission to do a lot of things. Given from, shall we say, a higher source."

"The gods?" I ask. Koakuma laughs and leans forward.

"They won't interfere in the affairs of the Lady. She has her strange ways of dealing with them." Huh, odd. Well, I won't pursue that topic since it is irrelevant.

"Since it won't cause Ms. Saigyouji to want to kill me, I do not mind," I say.

"Oh? I think you might be her type, so she might come after you anyways." A cold chill runs down my spine at those words. But I regain my composure remembering that Koakuma plans on drawing me with a mask. Although it feels though I am forgetting something Koakuma said. Oh, that.

"You said the fourth book in the series isn't erotic?" I ask.

"Yes, it's all action," says Koakuma. "It has some provocative content, but no explicit content. The author suggested we take a break from the sex with one of the books, I decided it should be this one."

Oh yes, the series' mysterious author, Morino Hon.

Koakuma wants to pay me with an autographed action novel in addition to writing me into an erotic novel. But I am not actually getting the erotic novel as payment. If I want to see myself in the erotic novel, I would have to go out and buy the novel myself. This is a problem seeing that I want something to replace the erotic novel I lost with something I can use right now, be it Koakuma's body or a readily available erotic novel.

"It sounds like a fair deal, but without the sexual content of _Magical Maid Sakuya-Chan_, I don't feel like it's worth passing you up," I admit. While the series makes a good read given how well written the story is, I can't deny the one reason I bought books in series to begin with.

"Eh!? Uh, is there another alternative? You're not my type." That comment of Koakuma's would probably hurt if I actually cared. Did she just wince? "Not to mention I don't want to do it with a man whose third leg is bigger than my arm."

Third leg? Like the weapon the Hell Raven uses? I don't have one of those, and even if I did, what does that have anything to do with Koakuma paying me back?

* * *

**From the Author:**

Rinnosuke: *clears throat*

Will our heroine avoid knocking hips with Sasuke?

Will Satori reappear in provocative clothing?

Will Mephiles666 find anything better to do with his life?

The answers to these questions will be answered...

Right now!

Yes!

Yes!

And not a chance in Hell!

_Proofread by Achariyth1, Captain Vulcan and Kaiser Dude._


	10. Chapter 10

Rinnosuke: In case you haven't figured it out yet, this knock-off has a bunch of crass jokes in it.

Sanae: Rinnosuke, don't be rude! I doubt the audience is so stupid that they haven't noticed! In fact, I bet they're all super intelligent!

Rinnosuke: Right, because super intelligent people would read this.

Sanae: Even if they weren't, you shouldn't have been so rude!

Rinnosuke: And what would you have said?

Sanae: Me? Hmmm... Hello viewers! You've probably already know, but the woman Rinnosuke is dating has green hair!

Rinnosuke: H-HOW DID YOU KNOW!?

Sanae: I've read Wolfsbane706's story _Servitude_, hosted by none other than the author of this fic!

Rinnosuke: Nonononononononono! Her identity was a special secret!

Sanae: Not any more it isn't.

Marisa: Wait a minute... Sanae has green hair!

Sanae: I do?!

* * *

**Chapter 10**

The Sun is setting, and I am alone in the shop with Marisa Kirisame. Aside from keeping my senses focused on making sure the human magician doesn't steal anything, I try to ignore her existence as best I can. Reading an action novel and letting my thoughts wander to a certain devil woman is certainly helping.

I am still curious as to why Koakuma had issues with sleeping with a guy who had Morichika's face. Did she actually not see Morichika as an attractive man? Or did she have some means of seeing past the illusion her master placed upon me? I know that an illusion is up, seeing as the man I am looking at in the mirror is Morichika and Miss Kirisame is calling me by his nickname.

Then again, Koakuma said that my face wasn't an issue, but rather my third leg. What did she mean my third leg being bigger than her arm? Let's see, my right arm is bigger than either of her arms, and so is my left. Does she dislike men who might accidentally crush her while hugging her? She shouldn't be too fragile, it's not like she's a human.

"Kourin!" Miss Kirisame shouts, "I think I figured out what your problem is! You're an herbivore man!"

And now I cannot ignore her and continue reading, my pride is screaming at me to punch her in the nose for that statement. Not once has there ever been a case of a White Wolf Tengu eating grass, besides bamboo. And while I like bamboo stew as much as the next Tengu, the fact that I eat insects, fish, birds and beasts should be a clear indicator that I am not an herbivore. However, as a hybrid, Morichika has been said to only drink sake on occasion and need no other sustenance, so it is quite possible that he is an herbivore. However, why would she need to add the "man" to the end of that sentence?

"It's an outside world term I heard," Miss Kirisame says in exaggerated annoyance as if answering my question. "It means that you're not interested in actively pursuing marriage or gaining a girlfriend."

Wait, so the food sources are an analogy for women? And a man's method of pursuing a romantic interest is compared to the animal? If that's the case, then I suppose a carnivore man is a man who actively seeks out women like how a carnivorous animal hunts for its prey.

Humans sure are odd.

"That said, I'm going to do the pursuing!" she declares. I like a woman who's upfront with me. Oh wait, that would require them being interested in me in the first place. Unfortunately the only time that's happened was after I started impersonating a certain youkai/human hybrid.

"Go out on a date with me, my treat!" she says, pointing at me. Looking at her, I see that she's flipping her healthy, golden hair.

"No, thank you," I respond before looking back down at the book I am reading.

"Even when I'm in this sexy ballet costume?" How did I miss that?

"Why are you wearing that?" I ask. Something about what I just said is making her shake and growl to herself.

"A little mole popped out of the ground and tweeted your weakness! It's why Ms. I'm-better-than-you-because-I-can-walk-on-my-tip-t oes is always here in a ballet costume!"

"It's super effective," I blatantly lie in a monotone voice, "But not enticing enough to tempt me."

She tears the book from my hands and presses her body against mine. "What about now?"

Now? Now that you're rubbing your chest against me? If I was attracted to someone with your body type, or if my frustrations had not already been thoroughly dealt with, it might have worked. But neither of those is the case, so pursuing this will only embarrass you more.

"Please stop," I ask her. "And give me back my book," I say as I reach for the novel she took from me. She throws it before I can snatch it out of her hand. And already being on top of me, she easily pushes me back into the chair when I lean forward.

"You're going to LOVE ME!" Miss Kirisame shouts as she grabs me by the collar. Okay, this is madness! What can I do to make her stop?

"Marisa," I say, "If you can give me two free books and promise never to steal from my shop again, I'll go out on a date with you." Surely she'll give up, she wouldn't be separated from her precious things, right?

"What a coincidence," Miss Kirisame says, "I have two books I'm done reading with me!" Oh, you've got to be kidding me! "Feast your eyes on this literature!"

The first book is _Full Moon_. Its cover has a picture of a single white and red flower hanging on its side with its stem leading out of the image, all on a black background. At the bottom of the front cover, it says "Kosuzu Motoori. Author of the bestseller _Moonlight_."

The second book has a book of a woman with who looks like Miss Kochiya as she appears in _Miracle Sanae-Chan_. Well, she has a number of differences; all of the green hair is replaced with brown hair, her bows are yellow, her magical girl cloths are red instead of blue, and she's wearing Mary Janes instead of boots (they're called Mary Janes, right?).

The title of the book is _Miracle Sanae-Chan 3._

I MUST HAVE THIS BOOK!

I look up back at Miss Kirisame.

"Alright, I'm busy but..." I do not want to go on a date with Miss Kirisame. "I'm going to go mark the calendar on Friday a week from now."

I am picking that day because I know for a fact that I will not be here at that time. I'll make sure I inform Morichika about it at the last minute, and I'll tell him its revenge for taking so long to return if he has an issue with it. If he's really late, perhaps I'll tell him that I've promised Miss Kirisame to take her out one of those expensive places like that noodle bar.

Miss Kirisame starts squealing like a girl a century-no, given the human species' aging rate, I suppose the way she is squealing fits her age. She leaves the two books behind as she runs out of the shop, causing the bell to ring when she exits. I start taking down the new items that Morichika has. Although I have no intention of reading it, I look at the first book's back.

Full Moon_, the anticipated sequel to Kosuzu Motoori's instant classic erotic novel _Moonlight_._

_An ordinary human girl, Annabel Goose, quickly finds herself in danger while in the household of her vampiric boyfriend, Andre Crimson, when left alone with his family. After Annabel is assaulted by his brother, Andre decides to protect his loved one by cutting his ties with her. Determined not to give up the perfect romance, Annabel attempts to seek out Andre but finds herself in the arms of the werewolf, Kouta Koizumi._

_But danger exists as the tensions between Vampires and Werewolves escalate, risking to turn into a full-blown war. Will Annabel give up on Andre and choose Kouta as her lover? And what will happen if war breaks out?_

_Rated 18 for explicit content._

I've heard of the series before. I have never read it, but everyone I know who has read it is obsessed with it. They either wish they were the heroine, or they complain about how terrible the book is. Regardless, it's written with young women as its target audience, logically it would not help me with my problems.

I have no intention of reading it.

I place it down on the desk and pick up the second book, _Miracle Sanae-Chan 3_. Looking at the back, I cannot see anything written about the story.

I guess I will have to actually read it for the plot, although if it's anything like _Miracle Sanae-Chan_ and _Magical Maid Sakuya-Chan_...

...

_"Sanae, I've had it with your attitude!" Shemp shouted at Sanae, "I'm breaking up with you!"_

_He turns to Mary with sparkles in his eyes._

_"Oh Miss Sue," Shemp said to Mary, "You have made me see her for who she truly is, and I have fallen madly in love with you!"_

...

I close the book before I can reach the half-way point. To be honest, I never thought I would see a story so poorly written.

The new female character named Mary completely overshadows the Sanae. For reasons unexplained, she is more powerful and more popular in the universe than the Sanae and is otherwise a recolored copy of heroine. Brown hair instead of green, red clothing instead of blue, etc. Also, Mary steals Sanae's boyfriend; the author has him dump Sanae after a drastic personality change on the title character's part that makes no sense (although I cannot claim to be an expert on women.) In addition, the boyfriend's actions are unrealistic and unbelievable, unlike how he was in _Miracle Sanae-Chan 1._

Ignoring the characters' flaws, this book feels like it doesn't belong in the series. The locations in this book look like imitations of places Gensokyo and not like places that you'd expect to see in the outside world, something I would not expect Morino Hon to write. Not to mention that I could not masturbate to the sex scenes, rending the remaining purpose of this book useless. Not only did the characters' actions make no sense, but their bodies were disproportionate in all of the worst ways. It's as if Koakuma wasn't even the one who drew this.

_Miracle Sanae-Chan 3_ is undoubtedly one of the worst books I have ever read. I don't want to accept it, but if it wasn't for getting her to stop bothering me, then I shouldn't have had wasted my time when I swindled Miss Kirisame out of it. Furiously, I throw it against the wall.

I stand from my seat as the door opens again, revealing a small youkai girl. She is the same blue youkai from the first day I visited.

"Half human, I've came back for the books you owe me!" she shouts while pointing at me. Morichika didn't say anything about having personal debts, but this girl does not appear to be lying. I want to be rid of her quickly since I really want to close up the shop and resume my search for Morichika's secret to gaining so much popularity with women.

"Look," I say. "I'm tired, I'm busy, I want to close down the shop. How about I lend you this book, and you bring it back when you're finished with it and then we talk?"

The book I am holding out to her is Kosuzu Motoori's _Full Moon_. It lacks _Miracle Sanae-Chan 3's_ terrible artwork, and there's the possibility that the girl will become positively obsessed with it.

"Uh... okay!" she says as she takes the book. She bows before turning around and running out the door. She starts talking to someone who is waiting outside for her. "Check it out, Mystia, I got myself a copy of _Full Moon_!"

"Cock-a-doodle-doo!" sings the Night Sparrow in response.

While I couldn't care less, the sound that Miss Lorelei sings sounds a lot like the word- Wait a minute. By Tenma, that's what Koakuma was talking about when she said third leg!

"She meant my penis!" There is silence outside. Did I say that out loud? Looking out the window, I can see the two youkai girls staring at me quizzically. Yeah, I said it out loud. The duo begins snickering.

I quickly close the shutters as the heat in my face skyrockets.

* * *

**From the Author:**

Rinnosuke: ***whispers*** Just pretend you're sucking my dick.

Sanae: What the Hell!? ***punches Rinnosuke***

Alice: What's going on, Sanae?

Sanae: This fic is what's wrong!

Alice: ***whispers to herself*** I didn't ask what's wrong.

Sanae: This story's contents may be considered acceptable T-rating material in some countries, but this bastard has crossed the line!

Rinnosuke: Sorry, I didn't see it. ***his foot is on a big red line***

Sanae: No, I mean our author! These last several chapters have been nothing but one big sex joke! The cartoon pornography, the giant penis, Marisa's flat chest!

Marisa: ***cries***

Sanae: And the objectification of women!

Rinnosuke: I still don't see the problem.

Sanae: ***punches Rinnosuke, knocking him out this time***

Alice: You can't just solve everything with violence you know.

Sanae: There's no other course of action left! We've been pushing on the border between T-rated and M-rated for too long! It's about time someone's put a stop to the Author!

Alice: Mmm.

Sanae: And I've read the author's notes for the future chapters, he's planning on making more crass jokes!

Alice: Mmhmm.

Sanae: And women being objectified in this story needs to stop!

Alice: Oh yes!

Sanae: I'm glad you agree with me, Ali-

Alice: ***You know what it is*** Oh yes, Master Proofreader! Make it hurt! Pound me harder! POUND ME HARDER!

Sanae: YOU'RE NOT HELPING!

_Thank you, Kaiser Dude and Achariyth1._


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: ...

Rinnosuke: ***running***

Disclaimer: ...

Rinnosuke: ***running***

Disclaimer: ...

Rinnosuke:** *running-*** HA! ***Smashes the Disclaimer apart like glass with a YinYang orb!***

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**Day X, Unknown Time.**

_Sasuke Ito's Journal, Entry 7._

_To think, this was what it was the entire time. Looking back on it, it should have been obvious that this was the root of the cause._

_The shop owner's ill life in dealing with bothersome women; the Mountain Youkai's female population supposedly wanting Rinnosuke; it's all this _thing_'s fault._

_Keeping it on my person will only be a temporary solution, though. I should keep its existence a secret and figure out how to dispose of it for when the need arises._

_Due to my condition, I cannot do magic myself (unless you count my innate wind abilities and manipulation of my life force as magic, but I wouldn't seeing as they function so differently). Because of this, I cannot be certain about the nature of this _thing_._

_Following my recollections, the subtle feelings given by the energies gathered before me, as well as listening to my instincts, it's not a magic spell but something similar. If I had to describe it in the common tongue, I would refer to it as something darker, deeper, and more chaotic than real magic. Something less ingenious and more instinctive; less versatile but more powerful._

_It's like a Tengu's innate ability to control the wind, but since it's something else other than wind, no Tengu could hope to use it. And it's not something we could reproduce using sorcery._

_Regardless, as far as I can tell from observing the "spell" (for lack of a better word), it has an area effect. If I am right, it enhances the attractiveness level of any male inside the projected invisible field from the perspective of any female of the same species. When a male leaves the field, his attractiveness gradually, but quickly, decreases until it he hits his original level._

_Actually, it's worse in the shop owner's case. At first, it seems to only make someone of your species fall in love with you. But since the shop owner is half human and half youkai, it's probably making both human and youkai women wanting him. Although if that's the case, that doesn't explain why Marisa was assaulting me, unless she was simply enchanted by the mere appearance of the shop owner._

_Fortunately, if the hybrid stays away from this shop, he'll eventually stop being insanely attractive to women. Unlike the shop owner, I will not affect them for one reason; women are not attracted to me to begin with. If by some unlikely chance that I am attractive to any woman, I will only have youkai women desiring me since I am only a full-blooded youkai. And since I am not initially as attractive to women as the shop keeper, I'll never reach his popularity level even comparing strictly youkai women. That said, if I want to avoid poisoning the minds of those around me, or want to avoid making a too suspicious of impact on the change of opinions the female populace has of me, I do not need to worry about taking this _thing_ into my care. _

_I don't know if there is something else that will trigger the moment I deal with the source of the non-magical supernatural power, so I will refrain from destroying it. The only alternative I have is to remove it from the shop and study it until I can safely destroy it._

_It appears that for the first time since before I lost my memories, I will be paying more than a formal visit to the magical research lab._

_Why does it feel like the Youkai of the Dusk is present?_

...

* * *

**From the Author:**

Alice: So... this is the halfway point?

Sanae: More like the two thirds point.

Marisa: Either way, this chapter was going to be something special, right?

Sanae: We were supposed to have audience ask questions so that we could address everything they needed to know next chapter.

Alice: We were also supposed to ask for requests on random quips from the audiences that we could use in the next chapter.

Sanae: Instead of simply ripping off an Anime Abridged series?

Rinnosuke: I do smoke Marijuana, it's goooooood stuff.

Marisa: Yeah, like that.

Rinnosuke: ***shouting from background*** Man, I ain't never gonna get laid.

Marisa: Maybe you would if you would stop resisting my advances.

Rinnosuke: Thisficisafanbasedfictionandnothingmore,sopleasesu pporttheofficialrelease. Yougotit? Youbetterknowitbynow,I'vebeendoingthisforayear.

Sanae: Okay, that's enough.

Rinnosuke: Eat me! Don't forget to write!

Alice: Now you're just being gross.

Sanae: ***whispers*** Says the girl who constantly sleeps with the proofreaders.

Rinnosuke: What are you going to do? Get that girl who can stop me? What was her name; Miss McDoesn't Exist.

Marisa: ***raises the Hakkero Mini reactor*** Take this! My new finishing move: FINAL SPAAAAAAAAAAARK!

Rinnosuke: Oh shi-***is blasted away***

_Thank you, proofreaders Achariyth1__, _and DokturProfesur.


	12. Chapter 12

Sanae: So wait, what's the point of this chapter again?

Alice: To show the audience what you're doing on the day this whole misadventure started after leaving Kourindou. It's to clarify that you were telling the truth in the first chapter in that you were honestly not interested in Morichika. It also gives us a chance to look at the lives of teenage human boys living in Gensokyo.

Sanae: I guess... most of that makes sense. But... where's Mr. Morichika? It's his turn to do the disclaimer.

Alice: Last episode, Marisa blew him up for being cocky.

Sanae: In that case, can you help me do the disclaimer today?

Alice: Understood. ***clears throat*** Shemp is an OC made by the Danmakuverse Coalition (named by Wolfsbane706, and concept by Mephiles666 with help from Achariyth1).

Sanae: Boozer Rokusuke and Hikozaemon from the book Perfect Memento in Strict Sense are probably owned by Team Shanghai Alice.

Both: Enjoy~!

Marisa: I didn't know where were other men in Gensokyo!

* * *

**Chapter 12  
**

The Human Village, the only real safe zone for humans in the world of Gensokyo.

Well, there's the Hakurei Shrine, but if you're not there for a party, a festival, a flower viewing or to give her donations then your stay will be short.

Today the Human Village would be visited by a man who was half human and half youkai. Here he would meet the love of his life, and see if she loved him in return. Shortly later, the village would be visited by a human girl, a shrine maiden who lived atop of Youkai Mountain. She too would be visiting the love of her life; but it would not be the half youkai who visited the village earlier.

At her destination, prior to her arrival, three teenage boys sat on a rock underneath the shade of a tree.

"Oh man, today is White Day, right? I wish I had a girl give me something on Valentine's Day. Now if I give a girl I liked something today, I'd probably look like an idiot," said Boozer Rokusuke, a boy with black hair with matching eyes and a normal complexion. Although he was a hunter like his father, he was dressed in the traditional man's kimono for times of leisure such as this.

"You wanna know what would be really awesome? If one of the heroic legends gave you something," said Hikozaemon Kirisame, a boy with red hair and red eyes. He wore the simpler, modern kimono that the men of the village would normally wear.

The term "heroic legend" usually refereed to any human who had solved more than one major crisis. While there were many attractive women worth of such recognition, four individuals came to Boozer's mind.

"Reimu Hakurei, Marisa Kirisame, Sakuya Izayoi, and Youmu Konpaku?" Boozer asked.

"Actually, I meant the red-haired hermit, the seven-colored puppeteer, and our history teacher." Hikozaemon wasn't going by the traditional definition of heroic legend, rather he was listening to his male instincts. "But if you want to talk about those four instead, sure."

Boozer blinked for a moment before answering his friend's question. "I don't think any of them celebrate Valentine's Day or White Day." He thought back to when he tried to give Youmu Konpaku a White Day gift. She was extremely perplexed, even after he tried explaining the concept to her. She was so freaked out and embarrassed about the concept of a boy taking a liking to her that she forgot everything he told her.

Her blushing was cute though.

"But if it happened, it would be awesome, wouldn't it?" Hikozaemon asked.

"I suppose it would," Boozer clarified. He paused for a moment then realized what he said and immediately corrected himself. "Unless it was that black-white or the red-white."

"Eh, they're not so bad, but I think I understand where you're coming from." Although Hikozaemon liked the Shrine Maiden of Paradise, he had to admit that the way she ran her shrine wasn't exactly leaving a good impression. Then having the Black Magician as a younger sister, Hikozaemon had a better idea of her faults more so, even before she cut ties with the family. Even if they weren't brother and sister, Hikozaemon would not pursue Marisa as a woman.

"Not so bad?" Boozer looked to his friend as he raised an eyebrow. "I don't want to be robbed of everything I own because I married a thief or a girl with poor business sense."

"Hey, at least the Hakurei has the promise of powerful offspring," Hikozaemon said. Of course, he was biased seeing as he wanted to get between the thighs of the Shrine Maiden. He had to immediately check himself to make sure he wasn't drooling.

"So do Youmu and Sakuya, and they also have better domestic skills than her."

"Not gonna disagree with you, but what makes you say that?"

"Well..." Boozer looked into the sky thoughtfully before he started to list things off. "Sakuya's body is super sexy, and she is a maid, so that helps with all of house work a wife normally does. And while Youmu may be the cutest thing alive, she's more mature than anyone I've ever met. Not to mention that I hear she's good with cooking, cleaning and gardens. Compared to that, the black-white's schemes will probably result in you being laying naked and yen-less in a ditch on the far side of the Forest of Magic. Face it, she has few girlfriend qualities aside from being cute and good in bed."

"What?" Hikozaemon asked, his expression was filled with disgust.

"I was kidding about the bed part. I don't actually know," Boozer admitted with a chuckle. Hikozaemon forced himself to laugh, but was now disturbed by the hunter's son.

Next to Hikozaemon, opposite of Boozer, was Shemp; the third boy in their trio of friends. Shemp was shorter and slenderer than the two of them and had turquoise hair, as well as one turquoise eye and one red eye. In one hand, he held an unsheathed sword with a thin blade. In his other hand was a stone which he used to polish said blade.

"What about you, Shemp?" Hikozaemon asked their friend who had been silent for the whole conversation. "You got a girl to give something to for White Day?"

"Yes I do, actually," Shemp said as he lowered the sword he had been polishing. This response caused the eyes of both of Shemp's friends to widen, indicating their surprise.

"For real?" they asked in unison. In an instant, they went from sitting next to him and standing in front of him. "Who is it?"

"Sh-She's the new Shrine Priestess that appeared recently," Shemp said nervously as he shrunk away from the two.

"You mean that Christian shrine up on Youkai Mountain?" Hikozaemon asked.

"Um, I don't know where you heard that." Shemp was confused about his friend's belief. To make sense of the question, he asked "What makes you think they're Christian?"

"The trinity, man; Suwako the Mother, Sanae the Daughter, and Kanako the Holy Spirit," Hikozaemon listed off as if what he said was a matter of fact.

Boozer blinked for a moment, and then it occurred to him. "I thought the Christian pantheon was Father, Son and Holy Spirit."

"I like my version better," Hikozaemon said while he crossed his arms.

"...right." Shemp decided not to bother arguing the specific point further. "Anyways, while I cannot deny Sanae's divinity in spite of being a human nor the fact that their shrine houses three goddesses, I pretty sure they're 100% Shinto."

"Wait, she's a divine human? Oh my goddess! My best friend is dating Jesus," Hikozaemon yelled hysterically.

"Jesus was a man."

"It's okay, Shemp," Hikozaemon said with a grin. "We won't judge, it just means more girls for us." Boozer immediately broke into laughter.

"My girlfriend is all woman," Shemp said, standing up and clenching his fists.

"So-haha-What is she like?" Boozer asked. "Is she a good kisser or anything?"

Shemp slumped his shoulders; there was no way he could win with these two. He would answer their question. Thinking about Sanae, he only had one word to describe her. "She's perfect."

"A human woman that's flawless?" Hikozaemon asked with a raised eyebrow, back without any evidence of crying from before. "I'm calling bullshit."

"I said my girlfriend was perfect. I never said she was flawless. She always wants to me dress up as a girl whenever she gets the chance. It's bad enough when I'm mistaken for a woman in spite of wearing men's clothing and, you know, _being a man_." He emphasized those last words.

"Wait, wouldn't a perfect woman be flawless?" Hikozaemon asked. He was promptly ignored.

"That does sound pretty flawed to me," Boozer said offhandedly.

"Remember how the rumors of her dating the Umbrella youkai started?" Shemp asked. "That was because someone saw her making out with me." Shemp left out that he had been wearing a blue-green vest with white sleeves and a light blue skirt when that incident happened.

"Are you sure your girlfriend loves you and not the Umbrella youkai?" Hikozaemon asked with another grin. He hoped to rile up his friend further. "I wouldn't be surprised if she was manlier than you."

"Who knows?" Shemp said with a smile as he crossed his arms. "Maybe I really am Kogasa in disguise!"

There was a long pause. Sure enough, Shemp's face was indistinguishable from Kogasa Tatara's.

"Oh my gods!" Boozer exclaimed and pointed at Shemp. "I see the resemblance; it's uncanny!"

"So you're a loser as a human and you're a loser as a youkai," Hikozaemon suggested cruelly.

"Says the human who can't even get a girl," Shemp countered. Hikozaemon was immediately in the corner, curled up and crying to himself... again. As he did so, Boozer spoke up in concern.

"If you're really the Umbrella youkai," the black haired boy started, "Does that mean that you're really a cross-dresser, or does that mean you're a girl and we've never noticed?

"Wait, Boozer," Hikozaemon said, having come back from crying in the corner, "You're not telling me you actually think that, are you?"

"I believe it. He _is_ really girly for a boy."

"Right, and a satori girl dances around in a tutu and trains ballerinas. You need at least a slender body and modest clothing to hide your hips and bust."

Of course, he noticed that Shemp did have a slender build and that he was wearing modest clothing after saying that, but that didn't mean that Shemp was in fact a girl.

"I'm serious," Boozer said. "I mean, after seeing that Tengu asked to leave the brothel, what can you NOT believe, right?"

"What happened?"

"Don't remember. They gave him a full refund and asked him to never to come back."

"Wait, wait a second!" Hikozaemon interrupted Boozer. He had just realized something crucial about their conversation. "Where's this brothel? I thought those were illegal."

"In the village, maybe. But this place was in the Forest-" Boozer was not able to finish his sentence when a young, green haired woman spoke out as she approached.

"Shemp!" she called out. The trio turned their heads to see that she was wearing a blue and white outfit similar to a shrine maiden's, except blue instead of red and covered in light blue polka dots and stripes. She had long light green hair, and yellow eyes. She also wore a snake-shaped hair accessory wrapped around her hair on one side, and a hair clip shaped like a frog's head. The skirt reached to her knees, and she wore maroon-colored boots.

She was Sanae Kochiya; the Modern Living Goddess.

"Sanae!" Shemp responded in kind.

"Shemp!"

The village boy leaped from where he was to embrace the outsider girl. Somehow, the two radiated simply being together. After what felt like an instant, but at the same time an eternity, the two let each other go and turned to Shemp's two friends.

"Sorry boys," Sanae said, "But I need to borrow your friend, he owes me a good time."

Before either of the two single boys could say anything, the two lovebirds immediately turned and left.

What followed was slack-jawed silence. After a minute, Boozer turned to the other boy.

"I'll be honest, I didn't actually believe him when he said he was dating her."

"Wait a minute," Hikozaemon exclaimed, "What if Shemp really is Kogasa?"

There was an awkward pause. Even though Kogasa and Shemp had never been seen together, and had identical faces, there was no solid evidence that they were one in the same. In addition, Boozer didn't want to think about the implications of Shemp being either a girl or a cross-dresser. He immediately changed the topic.

"So, I read Lady Akyuu's new book. I saw that you too were quoted in the articles. Rumia and Cirno, was it?" Boozer laughed nervously. "I was quoted for the article on the Night-"

"Gods damn it!" Hikozaemon shouted, interrupting Boozer. "I should have told Shemp to take his top off!"

* * *

**From the Author:**

Rinnosuke: So we'll never know whether or not Shemp is really Kogasa, nor will we know what their sexes are.

Sanae: Actually, it's Mizuki Hitoshi.

Rinnosuke: ... Who?

Sanae: ... Nevermind.


	13. Chapter 13

Sanae: You know what I hate?

Rinnosuke: What's that?

Sanae: Flashbacks.

Rinnosuke: ...

Sanae: What?

Rinnosuke: Ahahahahahhaha!

Sanae: What's so funny!?

* * *

**Chapter 13.**

_A dream of a memory..._

_This place... it's the shrine those outsiders put on our mountain, the Shrine of Moriya._

_I was ordered to meet those who own it. I had already met the head, Kanako Yasaka, who was not present at the shrine at this time. Before me stood Sanae Kochiya and Suwako Moriya._

_Lady Moriya wore a short simple purplish-blue dress with a frog print design, large white sleeves stitched onto the torso, and a white collar. She had medium-length blond hair, gray eyes, a light brown wide-brimmed hat with two frog eyes on the top, white knee-highs and black shoes._

_"I am Sasuke Ito," I said. "I was ordered to escort the two of you."_

_"Huh," Lady Moriya said, "I guess I was wrong."_

_"I beg your pardon?" I asked._

_"When I heard that your name was Sasuke, I assumed your hair would be shaped like a duck's ass."_

_"Really?" Miss Kochiya asked the small goddess. "I thought he'd have blue hair in a ponytail."_

_And that was how I met the Deified Human of the Wind and the Epitome of Native Gods._

_"Pleased to meet you, Sasuke," the human woman said, giving a polite bow._

_"Sasuke!" The voice speaking now is coarse and demonic, which is odd since I am certain there wasn't anyone with that voice present on that day._

_"Sasuke!" it repeats. I look around, uncharacteristic for what I actually did back then when my meeting with the two goddesses occurred._

_Everything is turning black around me, melting away as my brain becomes more and more aware._

_"Sasuke, WAKE UP!"_

...

I open my tired eyes to see the inside of a familiar antique shop. Oh yes, I'm still pretending to be that human/youkai hybrid, Rinnosuke Morichika.

Actually, today is the seventh day of my employment, meaning he should be here any minute. In fact, the door opening should be him right now.

I've completed my mission to find out Morichika's secret, discovered the events leading up to my amnesia, had a successful sexual encounter, got a free book, and now my obligation is about to end as the man whom I have been working for is about to enter the door.

It isn't Morichika. Initially, I'd suspect that the normal reaction at this moment would be to be upset. But the woman before me is enchanting! Her body's shape is well rounded and extremely healthy, and her face is like that of an angel's. Such a beautiful sight-

Oh, it's just Sanae.

"You're doing morning exercises?" she asks.

"No, I just woke up as you were opening the door," I answer.

"You do one handed handstand pushups in your sleep?" Now that I think about it, I am standing on one hand which is bent as if I was in the middle of doing that very exercise.

"Sometimes," I say. To be honest, it is a surprise for me to do that. I was lying down in a bed when I went to sleep last night. I have performed wind exercises in my sleep before, but...

"O...kay... Anyways, good morning, Mr. Ito," she says with a polite bow.

I flip onto my feet so that I am standing upright, and I bow as politely as I can. "Good morning, Miss Kochiya. How did you get in?"

"I thought it was safe to come in since the door was unlocked." She points at the door. That is the second time I've forgotten to lock the door. I simply nod.

"Not that I mind your presence, but what are you doing here?" I ask.

"Well, it's been a week, so I came here expecting Mr. Morichika to be present so I could evaluate the outcome of the miracle I performed. But I see that he is neither here and that you no longer appear as him."

"Your miracle stopped having an effect when I was exposed by a mind reader. I had to use stuff around the building to make my disguise more convincing." My thoughts go back to the Buddhist nun, how she mistook me for the Goddess of the Demon World because she saw me with white hair instead of silver hair. And before that I had-

Why is the heat in my face rising when I think about Byakuren? Does she cause fevers when people think about her?

"Well, you're here," Sanae says with a smile. "So it's not a complete waste of time. While I was hanging out with Kogasa, I met a man who wished to meet you specifically."

Someone wants to meet with me? Before I can ask, the door opens, revealing a man.

His flowing white hair is long enough to reach the middle of his back, and his eyelashes look longer than what I have seen on anyone besides some women I know. While he has of the smell of my species, he has the common wolf features such as white wolf ears and tail, both of which are larger than my own; he is a White Wolf Tengu.

He is my height, but slender and lacking in body fat. Of course, his shirt being designed to expose his abs makes this much obvious. Actually, it's a wonder why he isn't simply walking around topless. While I wouldn't dress like that to begin with, I know that my superiors would have great issue with me wearing such clothing. The rest of his attire is normal for a White Wolf guard.

Wait, this appearance and clothing style. This irritating aura brimming with self-confidence and self-importance.

"Oh, no! Not you," I say as the palm of my hand meets my face.

...

_A memory from some time ago..._

_It was after the events where the Shrine of Moriya and the Shrine of Hakurei clashed, but before the incident of the out-of-season weather and the Hakurei Shrine's destruction._

_"I understand your handicapped ability to interact with people; __but I will not tolerate you using this filth when, as the Alpha White Wolf Tengu, you should be out sowing your seed!" __my father yelled, holding up my entire porn collection, most of which I had even before the Vampire Incident. There were also a few pictures of a certain Dai Shōgi partner of mine posing naked among them._

_Alpha White Wolf Tengu is a title given to an individual White Wolf Tengu based on judgments made by the Dai Tengu populace. Using various testing methods, mainly tournaments, the Dai Tengu determine which White Wolf Tengu has the best qualities as a guard._

_I suspect that the purpose of this is to have the White Wolf populace produce the most ideal members for the Mountain Defense Force._

_Of course, while this title does have value within the White Wolf populace, it doesn't guarantee that I'll get laid. Whether due to my unattractive appearance, nonexistent social skills, social status as the son of thread makers, or something else, the most physical contact I get is my fist shattering the face of any male White Wolf trying to claim my title._

_"So if I relinquish my title of Alpha White Wolf Tengu, would you consider it to be acceptable?" I asked. I considered it a fair question at the time, but he responded by promptly burning it all on the spot._

_In hindsight, this would have been avoided if I exploded at him, told him to shut up and stop intruding on my private life._

_That led me to a conversation with another Tengu guard, a man who couldn't get laid and was known for reading pornography. He was more than willing to lead me to someone who secretly sold porn._

_And so, the lower ranking guard and I found ourselves in a cave, along with a cloaked man._

_"How are you doing, stranger?" asked the cloaked man._

_"I need personal service material and I can't let certain individuals know about it," I said. The cloaked man lifted up his right arm, exposing three books in the cloak's inside pockets. He reached in and pulled out one of the books with his left hand before displaying it to me._

_"Got some rare goods on sale, Stranger. Here is the newest sensation in erotic literature," he claimed. "_Moonlight_, a story featuring the human girl falling in love with a centuries-old sparkling vampire with an eternally youthful body."_

_"Do I look female to you?" I ask with my eyebrow raised. The cloaked man chuckled sinisterly as he put the book back and pulled out a second one._

_"Next is_ Seven Shades of Rainbow_, a story about the love heptagon between seven women, if you're into that sort of thing."_

_I had heard _Seven Shades of Rainbow_ was written well, but the synopsis on the back of the book screams that it's geared towards man-hating lesbians. Not to mention that its art style I find to be unappealing._

_"No," I said._

_"You're quite an exacting customer, stranger," the cloaked man said as he placed the book back into its pocket. "Those were the most popular items on the market."_

_"Do you have anything else?"_

_"I might have something that might interest you, stranger," he said. He reached for a third book and pulled it out. "_Miracle Sanae-Chan._"_

_I recalled that this book was an illegal work since it featured one of the mountain's newcomers in a sexual light. The artwork looked good and the synopsis on the back didn't offend me._

_I figured that if my porn collection was going to be burned by my father, I didn't have to worry about being caught by the __moral__ authorities on Youkai Mountain._

_"I'll take it," I said. I handed the man the money for the book, and he made one last sinister chuckle._

_When the exchange was complete, I was exiting the cave and in the process of hiding my new pornographic novel when Supīdo appeared._

_"So Alpha," he said, indicating to me that he knew who I was even when I didn't know who he was, "Does this mean that you're into illustrated women or human women?"_

_"I beg your pardon?" I ask. I kept the book I purchased hidden from view, but I wasn't going to bother denying that I hadn't bought it. Rather, I did not want it to be known that I was carrying an illegal work. _

_"Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not looking down on you, after all... men have needs. And if no woman wants them, what else can he do to relieve himself of frustration?"_

_The way he said it sounded like he was mocking me._

_"Not that I can say that I truly know how you feel," he said as he closed his eyes as if thinking about a past memory. "After all, one as attractive as me wouldn't think in the same way as someone who needs to resort to alternatives."_

_I didn't know who he was at the time, but I knew from the conversation that I was going to hate him._

_"But I must say..." No, he didn't need to say anything. "It must be sad that your hideousness and lack of sociability counter balance your position," he said._

_After a short pause, he burst into laughter. "Who am I kidding?" He asked. "You don't even deserve the title of Alpha White Wolf Tengu, you obese pile of boar shit! Wasting your time looking at novels written by an inferior species? The head of the Inubashiri family even had her eyes on you... until I made her scream my name last night!"_

_Whatever he was talking about, I was convinced that he was lying. Probably because Momiji spent that whole night torturing me with her newest version of Dai Shōgi. Beating Momiji in Dai Shōgi is as unlikely as beating Aya in a full-fledged fight._

_"Now if you'll excuse me," he said. "My three girlfriends are waiting and I don't want to fall asleep within ten minutes because you rubbed off on me," he said before jetting off at speed I rarely saw among White Wolf Tengu._

_"Well, gotta run," he said before jetting off at speed I rarely saw among White Wolf Tengu._

...

His name is Supīdo. I've always wondered how he got the name. Was that a nickname he gained when he proved that he was the fastest White Wolf Tengu alive? Or was he born with that name because his parents were hoping he'd turn out that way? That would be a humorous coincidence if it was the latter. My father desired that my mother had the honor of deciding my given name.

She didn't pick "Ninja Warrior" because she wanted her son to become a lethal fighter. She gave me the name I have today because she thought it sounded cool.

"Talk about low budget interior," he immediately says while looking around the shop. "No leather furniture or gold statues? How quaint."

He's also the richest White Wolf Tengu, with a large inheritance he gained because one of his late parents was a rich Crow Tengu. I don't have a problem with that, but I am annoyed by how he flaunts it. So even when he doesn't have his normal smug face, the urge to punch him is still there.

"Supīdo, what brings you here?" I ask. The White Wolf Tengu walks through the doorway and lets the door close behind him.

"Life hasn't been the same ever since the Vampire Incident," he says. "It's said that even the Assault team has yet to replace its deadliest fighter. Imagine the honor I had when I was informed that the highest ranked Assault Team member thought that I was a prospective replacement."

The Assault Team...

...

_"Hmm? You forgot what the Assault Team does?" my mother asked as she knit a sweater, expertly even though she was not even looking at it. "No wonder they gave you the boot. But if memory serves correctly..."_

_She closed her eyes and thought about it, and still did not make any mistakes in the sweater she was knitting._

_"Those who the Tenma deemed the most trust worthy and most powerful of the White Wolf Tengu are placed in the Assault Team. When a White Wolf Tengu is acting as a member of the Assault Team, he answers to no one but the Tenma herself. But he falls back into the hierarchy when he is not acting as a member."_

_"That doesn't answer the question," I said._

_"Well I don't know." She actually stops knitting to point at me with one of her knitting hooks. "You said you were never allowed to talk about it when I asked. In fact, I'm surprised you even told us about the time when you killed the previous Alpha White Wolf. That said, I would assume your duties included secret missions of the offensive nature."_

_"There are way to many ways that can be translated," I mutter._

_"Alright, here's something I know for a fact; the Tenma always keeps at least one member of the Assault Team within arm's reach of her at all times, at least when she's outside."_

_So they double as a sort of special guard unit?_

...

"What does that have to do with me?" I ask.

"Everything. The Tenma and the other Assault Team members could not agree on an appropriate test. And so I asked them if I should impress them, they gave me the go ahead. It took me days to think of the best possible way to impress them, but after a while, I figured it out; I'll best you, the former deadliest member of the Assault Team!"

"So, you want to fight using spellcards?"

"What? Of course not! Anyone can defeat you in a spellcard duel, Alpha. But among the White Wolf Tengu, who can boast defeating you in a full-fledged fight?"

Thinking about it, there was only one White Wolf who had soundly defeated me in such combat; the Archer, and his endurance surpasses my own. This combined with his combat skill and efficiency in Earth Magic would have killed me had there not been a void where his sanity should have been.

And that isn't even the most powerful of Tengu. Although there are very few Tengu more powerful than him, they exist. Like Aya Shameimaru, whose combat experience and proficiency with the wind are such a degree that winning against her in a fight is a distant, if not impossible, goal.

In hindsight, I wonder if I was worthy when she invited me over for dinner.

"Besides, would you truly want to test your manliness using a means of fighting designed for women?" he asks. I notice he doesn't mention anything in regards to the fact it is also an intellectual's game, did he fail to on purpose? I nod to Supīdo, indicating my understanding.

"I will prove that I am a worthy replacement for you," he says.

"Sure," I answer. "But I am on a mission, so it's going to have to wait until I'm finished with my job here."

"Oh, I see, the great and powerful Sasuke Ito is afraid of losing a fight. I guess the rumors of you being a coward were true after all."

Is Supīdo trying to goad me or does he actually lack situation awareness as a member of the Mountain Defense Force? Besides, fear is rooted in survival instinct; does Supīdo lack understanding of the concept?

"Regardless," he says as he smooths his hair out. "Your position as the Alpha White Wolf Tengu is most certainly a result of you kissing someone's derriere and not due to any real ability or effort."

... And that is where the line is crossed.

There is a consistency of my existence, if my journals from before becoming an amnesiac are to be trusted. It is that I am one of the most powerful Tengu and that I gained this status because I worked harder and smarter than my brethren. I work as such today to maintain that condition. I will not let him insult my efforts.

I have to fight him. Not to prove that I am not a coward, but to assert my position.

I _will_ break him.

"Miss Kochiya, I want you to perform the miracle again." I am referring to the miracle she cast when she was here a week ago.

"Right now?" she asks, I nod. Sanae's had practice and she still has faith, this miracle will be stronger than her last one.

"Supīdo, wait outside!" I say. "Make sure no one comes in!"

"Huh?" he asks.

"I'm saying I'm accepting your challenge. Please wait outside."

"Uh, okay," he says as he walks out the door.

Sanae's begins waving her gohei while doing her ceremonial dance.

There's more to my plan; the Hybrid is known to not be particularly capable in combat. If Supīdo was to lose to me in a fight, it wouldn't stain his pride, but his reputation would take a temporary hit should I appear as the Hyrbid. I can then expand my power if I inform those present that I was trained by Sasuke Ito and then describe myself as infinitely more powerful than what I perform as. And I cannot even be blamed for wronging him seeing as it's my job to find out what the Hybrid's secret is.

"Done," says Sanae.

"Thank you," I say. "You really are a powerful living goddess."

I walk over to a pile of the hybrid's junk and start rifling through it. Within a few seconds, I pull out a scabbard.

"What kind of weapon is that?" Sanae asks.

"This? It's a standard issue Tengu Scimitar. This one's had some personal modifications done to it, though." I hid it amongst the shop owner's inventory so that it wouldn't be thought of as suspicious by the customers.

"I've seen scimitar before, and they're not that big. That thing's fit for a giant."

"Really? A normal Tengu handles this about as well as a normal human handles a short sword."

"Oh, right! Youkai strength."

I walk out the door, causing the bell to jingle.

"About time you've finished, Ito-" Supīdo pauses in mid-sentence when looking at me. "I can't tell the difference between you and the Shop Keeper."

"That's how it works," I say as I step off of the porch. One meter to my left, Supīdo follows suit.

"I must say, it's a good look for you. Your hideousness is replaced with something much more acceptable."

"Then rejoice in the knowledge that a face better looking than yours will be grinding your teeth into the dirt instead."

"Big talk coming from a virgin."

I have no comeback. Regardless of whether or not I am a virgin, I should not waste my brain power to think of an insult.

However, we are now standing several meters away from the front of the shop. This location will work. I stop and turn to face Supīdo, he does the same.

The pause was probably no longer than a second, but it felt like an eternity.

As quickly as possible, my hand reaches for the handle of my scimitar, grips it and pulls. The force of me drawing my weapon causes a gust of wind. In unison, Supīdo's hands reach for the opposing handles of the weapons sheathed at his sides, gripping and drawing two tantōs with such force that a small gust of wind is created.

"Let's dance!" he says. With a clicking sound and buzzing sound, Supīdo's eyes are hidden from view by a single lens visor.

* * *

**From the Author:**

Thank you, Achariyth1 and Kaiser Dude, for proofreading this.

Supīdo is a character whose existence I mentioned in Life of the Tengu. To be honest, besides him being faster and better looking than Sasuke, I had no plans for him until I ran him by the people on the Roleplays Rock and Let's Danmaku forums here on Fanfiction. The source of his superior speed and dexterity is debatable. It could be due to the fact that one of his parents is a Crow Tengu, or it could be due to insane conditioning like Sasuke.

As for how I wrote him... if you hate the guy, I've made him correctly. If you love him... that's a silver medal.

The Assault Team is a special White Wolf Guard Unit. What Sasuke's mother said about them is the general idea of what they are. Although she probably doesn't have one with her 24/7.

No Sanae and Rinnosuke banter at the end, sorry if you miss them.

Reviews containing criticisms, praise, flames, and questions are all appreciated.


	14. Chapter 14

Sanae: Touhou is owned by ZUN!

Marisa: The Danmakuverse is compiled by Wolfsbane706, Achariyth1, Captain Vulcan and Mephiles666!

Rinnosuke: The following fight is performed by trained professionals, do not try this at home!

Alice: ***MA rated stuff******* MMMMM! I see beta-reading isn't-AH!-the only thing master proofreader is good at.

Rinnosuke: Wait, what?

Alice: *******Yes, this is still happening*** But-AH!-don't get the wrong idea! MMM! I'm just rewarding you for all your hard work! It's-AAAH!-it's not like I'm letting you bang me because I like you or anything.

Sanae: Jesus H. CHRISTMAS, ALICE! YOU KILLED OUR EPIC MOMENT!

Alice: ***You know you like it*** Now spank me, master! I've been a bad girl!

Marisa: Heh, it's always the quiet ones.

* * *

**Chapter 14**

My first action is a mistake, I blink. Opening my eyes reveals Supīdo in front of me, airborne and swinging his forward tantō.

Instinct, trained reflex, or simple luck; whatever it is, I have it. I am already shifting my body downwards and back, and leaning to my left. His sword passes over me, missing my neck.

My body begins to lean and shift forward. Supīdo's body spins with its momentum, and his back sword swings to strike me. My hands twist my weapon; I swing my scimitar upwards, augmented with wind.

The two blades clash, the air explodes from the impact. My body shakes from the impact, but the full force hits my skinnier enemy and causes him to spin out of control.

I have always known that Supīdo was faster than me; but these past several seconds have revealed just how glaringly different our speeds are. If I did not move as I did, when I did, then my head would have been rolling on the ground. Supīdo won the initiative; and if it was not for my reflexes, then he would have won the battle before it could begin.

The faster Tengu regains control of his body, slamming his feet into the ground and kicking up dust as he skids to a stop.

He spins and launches himself forward, swords swinging a second time. I strike out with my scimitar and parry him, sparks flying as steel collides with steel.

I shove my sword into Supīdo's. The force pushes him off his feet, causing him to stumble backward. His feet plant into the ground, regaining his footing. He charges me a third time, slashing out at me only to be parried by my scimitar.

Repeatedly, he pulls back and strikes forward, but he keeps failing to hit me. While Supīdo's tantōs lack the length to bypass my scimitar, having two weapons should give him an advantage.

Oh, now he realizes that.

I swing too early, he counters and makes a shallow cut across the side of my abdomen. My scimitar slices at his neck, but he leaps back before I can land the strike on him. I thrust forward, nicking him, but he sidesteps before I can do anything beyond drawing blood.

My body is bleeding more than normal for a simple wound that shallow. My flesh won't mend itself back together. A wound like this would normally be healed in an instant. This means that somehow my regeneration has been dampened or nullified.

I can feel a tingling sensation where I was struck on the side of my abdomen, a pain akin to your flesh being eaten away by acid.

"You can act tough all you want," Supīdo says with a snicker on his smug face, "But I can see that my magic is having an effect." He must have seen me wince.

"AUGH!" I shout as loud as I can, dropping to my knees and covering my wound with my free hand.

He darts forward, flying at me with incredible speed. But he leaves himself wide open as he flies at me. I stand up as quickly as possible, step forward while swinging my weapon in a diagonal upward slice.

Blood flies everywhere, but I don't feel any injuries on myself.

His hand flies clean off. I had sliced quick enough to inflict injury to him, but not enough to dig into his body. He loses his balance as he stumbles back. Missing an arm and losing a lot of blood, he falls onto his rear.

Take that, you pathetic excuse for a guardsman!

Before I can raise my blade and take a second step forward, something slices through my fingers and hits my sword. The scimitar flies out of my hands.

He lured me into a false sense of security just as I did to him. When my mind was preoccupied, he threw his second tantō with his still attached hand. And now I have a strong magical acid keeping my hand from regenerating its fingers.

Wait, I do not feel the burning sensation anymore in my side and my flesh mending itself back together. My wound from before has completely healed itself, which would be impossible if I was trying to regenerate from a magical injury.

"Precision strikes!" Supīdo shouts with a smile on his face. He scrambles to his feet while the wind begins to circulate around his hand, becoming faster with each rotation.

His intention is to impale me as if his hand is a dagger.

Just like his wind-covered hand, my injured, bloodied appendage is covered in a transparent force that can slice flesh apart. We thrust our hands out simultaneously, and the opposing winds cut into each other like swords.

The force causes an explosive shockwave strong enough to blast the two of us apart. After flying for several meters, we both land on our feet and skid across the ground.

Supīdo's eyes glow, and his body tenses. The air pressure around him is increasing drastically.

"How about some of this?" he asks as wind begins spiraling in front of him to the point of obscuring his appearance. The wind extends in height, becoming a column and then a tornado.

"Raaaaaagh!" Supīdo bellows. Focusing his charisma, the tornado moves towards me.

I pour my willpower into commanding my own wind. The air spirals between my hands, quickly growing speed until I have wind circulating with equal strength to a tornado.

Throwing my claws forward, the wind warps into a column, and immediately collides with the twister conjured by Supīdo. Supīdo's weaker column of wind dissipates before mine.

Before Supīdo can turn and flee, my tornado overruns him and sucks him in. The spiraling force of the wind throws the malefactor in a random direction.

I release it, allowing it to run its course so I won't waste my energy trying to maintain or direct it.

The earth is torn up in its wake, and small plants are uprooted. Trees look like they will fall over. And at least thirty meters away from me is Supīdo, groaning in pain as he gets onto his feet.

A small object falls from the sky, making a clanking sound as it hits the ground. Looking down at it, I see that it is the visor he was wearing seconds ago.

I would have put it on myself, but it is too small to fit me. Instead, I lift my foot over it and stomp down. The visor cracks beneath my foot, and continues to break as I grind it under my foot.

We on Youkai Mountain have technology that surpasses anything else in Gensokyo, besides those people living in the Bamboo Forest of the Lost. The Kappa, the Yamawaro, the Moriya Shrine, and we Tengu continue advancing while the rest of Gensokyo remains stagnant.

However, for Tengu specifically, our physiology renders most of our needs for technology to be irrelevant. This is why the Kappa and the Moriya Shrine, have developed their technology beyond ours, they need it more and are thus determined to improve it.

Looking at its design, it appears similar to a special device made by a Kappa girl I know. She said it was a work-in-progress for predicting the future. I won't bother trying to recall the exact details.

While she claimed it won't ever be completed unless the Kappa have a sudden scientific breakthrough, I don't know for certain that it doesn't work. And any advantage Supīdo has in this fight reduces the chances of my winning.

If she needs it back, I'll repay her.

"You must have spent all your strength on that wind," Supīdo shouts with a pained laugh while pointing his tantō at me. I see that the arm I sliced off before we had the wind duel regenerated while we were fighting. In his other hand is the other one of his tantōs. When did he get either of them back? "This fight is already mine!" he shouts as he charges.

While it is true that I've spent most of my energy for controlling the wind, I've yet to run out. But I will not bother correcting him and allow myself the element of surprise. For the time being, he's probably figured that I can't use magic either (which unlike my wind control, I actually can't). Since he's running at me this time, he's likely to actually be out of energy for wind manipulation. But I am not ever unarmed.

"This is the end, hideous dog!" Supīdo shouts.

He runs at me, but his movements slow to a crawl, as does the dust he kicks up. Or to be more accurate, my perception of the world is speeding up.

My own body moves like it is swimming through molasses, but my thought processes remain the same. The physicians on Youkai Mountain, the doctor in the Bamboo Forest, they've refer to this as tachypsychia.

I'm using it to think of a countermeasure.

And so, in the amount of time it took the bishounen to close the distance between us, I solidify my life force in my hands, giving it the shape of two Scimitars, one in each hand.

My blades have superior reach, I have the speed necessary to keep up with Supīdo, me having two weapons closes the hole in my defense with an offensive attack, and my enemy is moving too fast to stop himself.

This technique is used by Mountain Priest Tengu, the printers of our species, to form staves from their very life force. The technique isn't taught to anyone outside of the printer subspecies, so I don't know how I came across the knowledge and skill on how to use the technique. I would assume that it was because I was the White Wolf Alpha, but I had the information in my head before I received my title.

Whatever the case, I've learned with practice that it is easiest for me to create two scimitars simultaneously, one in each hand, instead of simply one.

In one motion, I swing my first scimitar horizontally and my second upwards. The first slices into Supīdo's stomach while the second one causes him to fly off his course.

The world around me rapidly picks up speed, only stopping when my perception is normal.

I watch Supīdo as his body collides into a tree. His two tantōs slide across the ground.

Looking at his wounds, his body isn't making any more repairs. Judging from the damage that his body has sustained, I can win this fight if I land one more solid blow on him.

I close in on him with my life force scimitars raised, mentally prepared for a trap.

His hand is covered with his blood, and he's using it to draw on the ground. That symbol, it's a summoning circle!

_"Summon: Dire Wind Boar!" _he declares.

I bring my scimitar down on him, but my blade collides with the force of wind blowing out of the circle. I am pushed back as wind magic gather between me and my target, obscuring the view.

As the wind clears, it reveals the entity summoned.

The beast exhales through its large nostrils, spewing out clouds so dense that they can be seen. Its pointed ears, while at least the size of my hand, are small in proportion to its head. Its legs are muscular, and each foot has hooves. Its gargantuan body is covered completely in bristles; and from its mouth protrude tusks the size of swords.

It is a boar. Specifically, a youkai boar who is aligned to the wind. Many White Wolf Tengu have their own Wind Boar, but if there is one thing that sets this boar apart from the others, I would say that it was the fact it is the size of a house.

It raises its head and opens its mouth, bellowing so loud that an animal would be rendered permanently deaf. Even covering my ears doesn't stop the loud sound from causing pain.

The weight of its hoof creates a shockwave as it smashes the earth below it, driving the monster's body at me. I leap into the air in an attempt to dodge, but given the short distance, I have no time to evade. It rams its face into my abdomen and keeps running, making a shallow cut in my side with its tusk.

My body smashes into something hard, I feel my ribs break. I fall to the ground as it backs up.

I am on my hands and knees. I can feel my stomach pumping the remnants to my last meal out my mouth, spilling onto the ground a brownish-yellow soup filled with too many undigested materials.

I lift my head to see that it is lifting its hoof up over my head.

Oh, no you don't!

In spite of my nausea, I scramble to my feet and lift my hands. The impact between my hands and the monster's hoof is harsh, creating a blast of air as it is stopped. It presses down harder, trying to crush me with its weight. I push back.

My lungs expel air, resonating with the sound of my exertion. I shove upward, forcing the giant's hoof to lift, liberating me from beneath its foot. It's enough to unbalance it, causing it to stagger long enough for me to leap back before it can slam down on me.

Its head lowers one more time; I slam into its nose between the tusks before it can charge. Quickly, I reach around the snout as much as possible with my arms and grip it.

My muscles strain themselves as I lift, taking the behemoth off its feet. I pull the boar with me as I whip around to my left. I push up as the boar flies out of my grip, throwing its body.

It bellows as it flails and flips in the air before it crashes down on its back. The impact sends a rumble through the ground. The shameful, agonized wailing of the monster dies out as it dissolves into thin air.

Now that the summoned servant has been eliminated from the battle, it is time to deal with the summoner.

My nose is already picking up his atrocious scent. It's coming from above and to my left. I turn and see him, standing on the highest sturdy tree branch of a tree. He isn't even trying to hide.

His eyes are closed, his hand outstretched, making deliberate movements while speaking an incantation.

_"Sharpness, precision, efficiency, firmness, rigidity, persistence, strength and determination; balanced presence of clarity and lightness. This is the nature of Metal, the core of the blade." _White light, gray symbols; even if he didn't say the word in his incantation, I can see he's using a spell of the Metal Element. Materializing out of thin air, behind him is a gray distortion, a glowing portal, two meters in diameter. _"Infinite Tantōs!"_

I recognize this spell. This must be the spell his spellcard _[Metal Sign - Infinite Tantōs]_ is based on.

As if it is a portal to another world, three tantōs slowly pull themselves through the distortion blade first, stopping at the handles.

"Be skewered to death, Sasuke Ito!" Supīdo shouts, throwing his hand forward. The three swords shoot off like bullets fired from a gun, flying at me.

A second time, the world slows down around me.

Looking at the blades, there are no magic properties to them, besides possibly being made out of magic. Therefore if I try using one, there should be no repercussions.

Moving out of the way enough to grab the handle of one as it flies passed me is simple and easy. With the tantō in my hand, I immediately spin, narrowly dodging the second sword, and swing it into the third blade that is flying at me. They both break on impact and their fragments dissolve into the magical energies they are constructed of.

"Y-you!" Supīdo yells. He is clearly upset. "How dare you lay your hands on one of my weapons?" Did he honestly expect me to do nothing when he threw them at me? "I'll make you suffer for your insolence!"

Six more tantōs shoot out of the portal. And again, their speed is slow enough to dodge.

The first tantō flies passes me; I snatch it out of the air by its handle. In one fluid motion, I grab the second sword out of the air with my other hand.

Four tantōs remain; I swing down with the first blade I caught, deflecting and destroying the third along with it. The movement of my body to perform this action removes me from the the paths of the fourth and fifth tantōs, allowing the two of them to fly by me without hitting me.

With only one tantō remaining, I have no distractions. And so catching the sixth sword by the handle is as easy for me as breathing. However, the swords are probably limited in how long they can exist. That sad, the two swords I have in my hands I can assume won't last long and are probably going to dissolve. They'll be gone before I can use them against Supīdo directly.

I swing one arm and release my grip on the handle, causing the tantō to fly back at him. In one motion, I repeat with my other hand and throw the second weapon at him.

Predictably, he leaps off the tree branch and out of harm's way. He lands on a tree branch on another tree. Perhaps I should coax him into wasting his magic?

"What's this?" I ask. "You called me a coward and now you're hiding in a tree?"

"Don't you dare call me a coward!" he shouts back. Coaxing successful.

And now the tips of twelve blades can be seen coming out of the gray portal. No, make that sixteen-wait, thirty... Oh.

That's a lot of tantōs.

"Die!" Supīdo yells as he fires the absurd number of tantōs at me.

While I do not have enough wind power to create another tornado, I can still propel myself through the air, allowing me to dodge the stream of swords.

Under normal conditions, you'd be expecting hundreds of blades flying at you to be a dangerous thing. Like something you would not be able to handle. Unfortunately for my opponent, my dislike for practicing my spellcards required that I learn how to dodge like a human.

When you're on the receiving end of a spellcard battle, you learn quickly how to continuously dodge thousands of attacks while flying. And the more you do it, the better you get.

In summary, Supīdo can't hit me.

Without stopping the barrage of tantōs, the gray portal opens wider and more swords fly out at a time. And with more swords being thrown out, the area target area is larger. But at this rate he'll sooner level the forest with tantō than actually hit m-

A sword flies off the spell's path, and I accidentally fly into it. Without time to react, it tears through my arm. I grunt in pain as the tantō slices through the flesh of my upper arm. The tantōs stop launching from the gray portal, and I am bleeding.

"Huh?" Supīdo blinks. If his tone and quizzical face can be trusted then he is as confused as I am. As if to prove me wrong, his face gradually turns into a smile. And abruptly, he bursts into laughter. "This! This is awesome! I've been blessed! Who knew? I've been blessed with the power! The power Tengu can only be born with!"

Wait, there are many abilities Tengu can obtain with differing origins, but there is only one the ability a Tengu can only gain by being born with it.

Clairvoyance, the ability to perceive that which is beyond normal physical sensory contact. While there are non-Tengu who can obtain the same effects using magic and divine power, the Tengu are yet to be capable of using this function at all unless they are one in less than a thousand births.

"That's right, Ito, I'm a clairvoyant," Supīdo confirms, "It seems that I have gained favor with the god of the Tengu, for I have the power to know where you are!" The tantōs in the gray gate reappear, more this time. _"Infinite Tantōs."_

Those are a _lot _of tantōs.

No, "a lot" doesn't even begin to describe this absurdity. I can't even count them!

"This is the end," Supīdo says. He starts firing off the barrage of tantōs. He intends to make sure that I can't use my speed to fly out of the target zone, and they're too close together for someone of my body size to simply dodge between them.

I have mere seconds to bring up my only means of defense. My life force re-solidifies, manifesting in my hands the two scimitars that have remained ever faithful to me. If I strike at the tantōs, then maybe I can deflect them.

The first set of tantōs are upon me! I swing my freshly materialized life force scimitar, deflecting the blades away. A second group of swords is flying at my right, I swing my other scimitar horizontally, dissipating them.

A large set is coming at my center, there's an opening on the left side. I side step and spin, allowing them to pass me.

The next couple of tantōs come down, baring on my left. I strike them, dissipating them as well. In a second, I have already deflected or dissipated six tantōs and evaded more, but they keep coming.

A tantō grazes my leg, burning it with poison. I ignore it to deflect and dissipate more tantōs. A tantō tears through my right arm, forcing me to drop it, but I do not let go of my scimitar. My arm begins to repair.

Another tantō flies at me. I shift to the side, letting it graze it instead of avoid letting it impale me. The hit is hindering my movement though, allowing another tantō to strike me.

I've stopped counting the number of tantōs I've deflected as too many shots are getting through! I fall to the ground.

My vision is blurry, and I feel pain from the numerous cuts my body is receiving. But I cannot let myself fall here.

I don't know how long I am stuck in this position; my sense of time has been warped by the injuries. But as my vision clears, I see that I am facing the ground and supporting myself on hand and knee. I can feel my injuries healing.

Oh yes, the _Infinite Tantōs_ spell, I need to dodge! ... Or I would, but there are no tantōs, or any other sort of sword, flying anywhere. The only weapons are the ones littering the battle field, stuck in either trees or the ground, or lying on the ground. They begin dissipating, breaking down into the magic they are constructed of.

The barrage is over, and the dust blanketing the area is settling.

"Why haven't you fallen unconscious yet?" asks a familiar, irritating voice. I look up and see Supīdo some meters away, breathing heavily as if he actually performs a strenuous physical feat.

"Because you're not half as capable as some people I've defeated," I respond while standing.

This is a fact. The Archer Tengu, that White Wolf Tengu with Glasses, Charlie, even Momiji's idiot brother; my past battles with them all indicate that they all were much harder to defeat than this annoyance.

Okay, maybe not Momiji's older brother. Supīdo isn't that bad.

However, I'm not fighting Supīdo at in peak condition. First, due to a week of consuming nothing but sake and that vomit inducing snack Marisa fed me to keep up my appearance as the shop owner, I've become hungry; making me weak. My training regime has also been disrupted by a week of focusing on my appearance; thus making me even weaker and lax. Lastly, if I wasn't suffering from Magical Burnout, I would have easily devastated him with sorcery.

It also helps that he has managed to miss every single one of my vitals with that sword-shooting spell.

Speaking about my wounds, at this point in time in a fight, any of the fore-mentioned Tengu would have done far more damage to me. And my injuries are healing.

"No matter," Supīdo says as he draws his two tantō. They may be new ones or the ones from before, I've stopped caring at this point. "I still can defeat you!"

He grips the tantōs tightly and dashes at me with his blades raised high. He swings with his first tantō, I avoid it by back stepping. He swings his second tantō.

"That's hilarious, actually," I say as I casually sidestep his second tantō. "You've done nothing this whole fight. Yes, you've hit me a few times, but your weapons clearly lack the magical strength you hoped they'd have seeing that I am regenerating from the wounds."

"Shut up!" he says as he swings again. I think I'll tire him out.

"You sure you want me to?" I ask, ducking under a high horizontal slash. "I might reveal my weakness if you let me talk. I mean, didn't you use a poisoned blade somewhere in there? When was the last time a Tengu was anything besides inconvenienced by poison? You'd have a better chance having a prostitute that's loaded with gonorrhea seduce me."

"Shut up!" he repeats himself as he swings his swords, cutting me this time but only inflicting superficial wounds. I ignore the pain and keep up my verbal attack.

"But then again, you couldn't get one to talk to you if you walked through the red-light district with 10,000 yen pinned to your chest."

"Bastard! I'll kill you," Supīdo threatens as he swings again, only to miss. His attacks are becoming less focused, making his actions more predictable.

"You? Kill me?" I raise my eyebrow. "You've claimed that you have Clairvoyance and that it helps you attack me, yet here you are, continuously missing me in spite of the fact you're normally faster than me."

Granted, Clairvoyance rarely helps in close quarters combat, unless you're dealing with multiple enemies or trick attacks. I had learned this from Momiji.

"Gah!" He slashes at me; clouded by anger, his actions are so predictable that the attack and his continuous follow-up strikes fail to touch me. He's becoming sluggish. He swings his tantō, I dodge and throw a punch into his gut. "OGH!" he grunts in pain. He stumbles back a bit then immediately catches himself. He swings at me again; I dodge and deliver a punch to his cheek. "UGH!"

"Seriously, you should set goals that can be achieved. The next time you fight me, it would be far more realistic if you shouted _'Sasuke Ito, I'm going to cause you minor inconvenience!'_ or something of that nature."

Oh! He's dropping to the ground, I guess that last punch did it. Wait, he is only down on one knee and still holding his tantōs.

"I'm," Supīdo chokes out as he tries to stand, "I'm not finished with you, you ugly son of a bitch!"

"No, you're not," I say in a bored tone. "But I am finished with you."

"You! **Raaagh!**" In anger, Supīdo leaps from his crouching position, but my knee is already fully raised by the time he I am in his strike zone. I extend my leg forcefully, planting the bottom of my foot into his face.

A sickening crack echoes through the ruined landscape.

He's a youkai, he'll regenerate from the loss of a head within three weeks at most.

With Supīdo incapacitated, there is no reason for me to bother staying here. I turn to leave the battle field, beginning my walk back to the shop.

I am not tired, but pain goes through my legs as I slowly walk towards the edge of the damaged landscape.

This area used to be a border between a forest and a meadow. Neither remains. If the environment takes this amount of damage when two youkai fight, I can see the justification in the development in spellcard rules. I would expect that the Hakurei would appear, wanting to know who the culprit is for reducing the area into ruins.

But at least I won.

"Rinnosuke!" calls out a woman's voice. Looking up, I see a small, spread out crowd in the distance.

The battle had an audience.

* * *

**From the author:**

Originally, I was going to have Sasuke end the fight with him blasting Supīdo's head off using his wind powers. That wouldn't work, however, since that would actually kill Supīdo without fail.

On the subject of Supīdo, I apologize for all of you people who were hoping to see more Sonic the Hedgehog paraphrases. It was hard enough getting Supīdo to be the pretentious asshole that I made him.

...

Speaking about being pretentious, I'm starting to wonder if I sound pretentious by calling this section "from the author."

In that same vein of thought, I really like it when people review my stuff (it's more reliable than keeping track of page traffic), but do I look like some sort of attention whore in asking people to comment?

This brings me to another question; I understand that some comments need no reply and others do... but is the proper approach to comments "Comments generally should be responded to" or "Comments generally shouldn't be responded to?"

...

Please review. XD

_Thank you Achariyth1, DokturProfesur, Kaiser Dude and Achariyth1 for proofreading this._


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